Sex In Class - the Brook view!

Simon Blake, former Chief Executive of Brook,
talks to Goedele Liekens

Last night’s Channel 4 programme, Sex In Class, was a fascinating hour-long look at the effects of a truly Sex:Positive approach to sex and relationships education (SRE). Presented by Goedele Liekens, a Belgian sexologist and UN Goodwill Ambassador for sexual health, Sex In Class demonstrated the power of giving young people the opportunity to talk about sex and relationships, and the importance of building up their confidence (especially the girls’), to help them draw their own boundaries.

Brook was approached by the production company who made the programme in the autumn of last year, and when we heard what they were planning, we were keen to get involved. The TV crew filmed interviews between our former Chief Executive Simon Blake and Goedele on two separate occasions, and to say they got on like a house on fire would be an understatement!

Of course, as often happens with TV, two hour-plus-long conversations full of excitement, agreement, and bouncing ideas were edited down into a two minute long segment for the small screen – but I think that the gist of what was discussed got across, which is the main thing. Filming went by (almost) without a hitch, despite cancelled trains, busy diaries and a near dust-up in the London office between the C4 crew and a Belgian crew who were following Goedele around to film her for a reality show – don’t ask!

The programme itself could not have shown more clearly the crying need for better SRE that talks about much more than basic biology, bugs and babies. The fact that many of the girls in the group had no idea what their own bodies looked like “down there” was saddening, but not surprising – Brook’s Education and Training teams tell many similar stories. It also showed that missing out conversations about consent, pleasure, peer pressure and porn leaves young people confused and lacking the confidence they desperately need.

The difference in behaviour between the young people at the start of the programme and the end was striking. The boys seemed more thoughtful and certainly more aware of consent (it was a peek-through-the-fingers moment earlier on when one of them said that coming on a partner’s face was just a normal part of sex and he didn’t see why he needed to ask permission – this notion was thoroughly dispelled by Goedele and the lesson seemed to sink in). The girls seemed more confident and more empowered (I loved the quote from the girl who said, “I’m not going to take crap off people any more”), and certainly more aware of their right to respect, pleasure, and equality.

Goedele asks the question on all our lips! 

The conversation on Twitter – as shown in this Storify – was overwhelmingly positive. There was a huge amount of disbelief that SRE is not statutory, from many people who had been unaware of that little fact. There was anger that a failure to ensure good, sex positive, comprehensive SRE for every young person leaves them at risk of exploitation, coercion, and abuse. The influence of porn on the class’s views was undeniable – and as Simon often said when CEO of Brook, whatever you think of porn, it’s not the best place for young people to learn about relationships and sex!

Sex In Class was a great reminder (as if we needed one!) of exactly how important the amazing work done by Brook’s Education and Training teams is. While the Government drags its feet over making SRE statutory (seriously, how many reports do we need?!), Brook and similar organisations are out there making a difference to young people’s lives, talking to them in down to earth language about the issues that young people tell us they are desperate to discuss in a safe space, with input from an expert.

The only complaint I have about Sex In Class is that it was a one-off, rather than a series. Every one of the issues Goedele and the class discussed was worthy of its own episode, and it would have been brilliant to see what else was taught – I know that Goedele is also, for example, very keen to make sure that SRE is inclusive of all sexualities and genders, which was a topic that the hour long format didn’t have time to cover. In the meantime, whilst I’m going to keep on campaigning for statutory SRE, I think we have to find other ways to make sure that young people have much better sex and relationships education, to help them make positive choices, and to help them be safe, healthy, happy and unafraid of the future.

— Jules Hillier, Interim Chief Executive, Brook

Life Lessons: PSHE and SRE in schools

Today the Education Select Committee has published a landmark report Life Lessons: PSHE and SRE in schools that recommends government take action to provide statutory PSHE.  The link to the report is here and I recommend reading it - an excellent analysis and joyful conclusions http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201415/cmselect/cmeduc/145/145.pdf

In calling for statutory PSHE it rightly recognises the importance of system change, which Brook articulated in our 21st Century SRE report in 2011.  The Committee stated "statutory status for PSHE would not in itself guarantee an improvement in the quality of teaching, but we accept that 'system change' is needed to raise the status of the subject - particularly in terms of dedicated curriculum time and the supply of suitably trained teachers".

So, this really is a landmark report that demonstrates just how strong the consensus is - the Education Select Committee is a cross party group - and just how small the vocal minority that objects to high quality sex and relationships education really is. The Education Select Committee must be congratulated on their excellent analysis and robust, common sense recommendations.

We cannot assume that the job is now done, however. Government ordinarily would publish a response to the report within 60 days, but that of course will probably not happen because we have a General Election this year, so it is my expectation that the next Government, whoever that is, will decide how to respond to the recommendations. We will be waiting and watching to ensure government does respond in due course, and that this report does not get kicked into the long grass.

I want to thank colleagues Lucy Emmerson (Sex Education Forum), Alison Hadley (Teenage Pregnancy Knowledge Exchange), Joe Hayman (PSHE Association) and Roger Ingham (Centre for Sexual Health Research) who also gave oral evidence and an enormous amount of follow up collaborative work to ensure the Committee had the facts and evidence about PSHE and SRE.

And here the link to the Supplementary Advice published by Brook with PSHE Association and Sex Education Forum almost exactly a year ago, which the Education Select Committee recommends Department of Education formally endorse www.brook.org.uk/supplementaryadvice

Member @leonjward: on why inclusive SRE is vital

Brook member, Leon Ward, has written this article. Timely given last weeks statistics on young gay men and HIV.

Good quality and compulsory sex education is the first step we need to take to ensure young people in the United Kingdom can make informed choices when they are getting jiggy between the sheets. But, once that's done, what is the next step?

For me, as a young gay man it is to then ensure different forms of sexual relationships are covered. In a time where we celebrate the fantastic achievement of equal marriage, there are still hundreds of thousands of LGBT+ children and young people who remain clueless about sex. Now, it may seem obvious which piece of Lego goes where, but let me tell you, I, like many before me, predominantly learnt about sex from porn - I developed an understanding that every gay man had to ‘participate in full anal sex, like, all of the time.’ Now, obviously, that is not true. But, how, at 14/15/16 was I supposed to know that?

At school, I learnt how to put a condom on which was useful and hilarious as the lovely school nurse in her petite frame and meek voice tried to tell us the instructions over tidal waves of giggling. But, I was never told of the various ways in which gay people explore their bodies and sexual limits. I had no idea all forms of ‘straight foreplay’ apply between two gay men or, indeed, the risks of not using a condom.

Now, part of me thinks that is exactly the point - you're supposed to 'explore' and discover what feels good, safe and comfortable; which is something we all continue to do as we progress through our sexual rollercoasters both as individuals and as part of a relationship, your ‘friends with benefits’ or with the occasional one nighter. But, I, like many of my gay peers would have appreciated a bit of guidance/sensible information.

Fundamentally, and irrespective of sexuality, the issue here is about children and young people being empowered to make choices they are happy with. That is impossible to do when you feel your choices are restricted to going all the way or not. Rather, sometimes we feel 70% 'yes' and we'll go so far, but we won't go all the way, at other times, we want to just the run the entire field track and skip all the getting-to-know-you warm ups, and sometimes, we want to roll over and sausage roll ourselves in our duvets whilst being spooned.

All of those are choices, but for some people they discover that those choices are available to us all when it’s too late. Leaving it to pure discovery has its risks. Young people grow up feeling insecure, nervous and frightened and this is particularly intensified when you feel even more marginalised because everyone is talking about 'normal' sex; and you feel that doesn’t apply to you. It isn't about segregating young sexual minorities and teaching them separately but it's about approaching sex ed in a wholesome manner and covering it all, for everyone.

Sex shouldn't make you feel frightened (although I think there is almost unanimous agreement that the first time is terrifying because of all the 'what if they don't like my....' questions.) it should make you feel comfortable, satisfied and relieved. Relieved both physically and emotionally, relieved that you made a choice about what you wanted to do, which resulted in having a good and safe time.

We will continue to betray young people if we do not make it compulsory for schools to teach a full and explosive curriculum on sex - let's not leave it to shoddy porn actors, but let's embrace sex as part of our every day (if you're lucky) lives and desensitise ourselves to it so that the classroom and subsequently the bedroom and the home become a safe places to explore, discover and go wild.

Until then, spread this article and support Brooks sex positive campaign on Twitter: @BeSexPositive

Become a member:

And help us lobby:

I'm on @Leonjward - let me know your thoughts.

Proud to launch Supplementary Advice to the DfEE statutory Sex and Relationship Education Guidance (0116/2000)

Today I am proud that Brook in partnership with PSHE Association and Sex Education Forum has launched Supplementary Advice to update Government's Statutory Sex and Relationship Education Guidance published in 2000. All of us committed to ensuring children and young people's entitlement to good education about sex and relationships as part of PSHE whatever school they are in, wherever they are in the country.

The link to the SRE Supplementary Advice is here www.brook.org.uk/supplementaryadvice 

The Times Educational Supplement has published an article about the Supplementary Advice which is here.

Much of what is in the statutory 2000 guidance remains good, yet there have been advances in technology which brings the potential for real excitement and easy access to knowledge and information, as well as new challenges - the easy spread of images and easy access to pornography.  We also now know more about issues like Child Sexual Exploitation and Abuse and the importance of young people developing a positive and active understanding of consent and pleasure, and the development of key skills to navigate and develop positive healthy relationships whatever their gender and sexual identities.

The three organisations have taken advice and input from teachers and other experts to help shape this Supplementary Advice. We have worked hard to incorporate the range of different perspectives and I am immensely proud there is now Supplementary Advice for schools that has such senior support from a wide range of colleagues including Lord Nash, Schools Minister, Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg, Teaching Unions, NSPCC, Faculty Sexual and Reproductive Health, British Association of Sexual Health and HIV, Girlguiding UK, ParentZone, Stonewall, CEOP and Public Health England (you can see the support at the back of their Advice).

David Cameron himself has also said he welcomes the work of expert organisations supporting schools in this area in response to particular public health concerns about violence and his personal interest in online pornography. But let's be clear this does not replace the ongoing need for statutory Personal, Social and Health Education or strong national and local leadership. It should, in my view, move on from the protracted and intransigent debate that was developing about Government's failure to update their statutory guidance and the implicit and explicit finger pointing that it was because of the out of date guidance that SRE is 'still not good enough' to use Ofsted's words.

Whatever your view about whether government should update their guidance or not, they have chosen not to and it is important we provide schools with the support they need NOW whilst continuing to campaign for more leadership and support for positive, empowering sex and relationships education. Government repeatedly confirm PSHE is an important part of the curriculum for young people that schools must ensure children receive their entitlement to and I am pleased Joe Hayman, CEO of PSHE Association and collaborator on this Advice is going to chair a government advisory group on PSHE.

Of course, it is true much more needs to be done to accelerate progress in PSHE. This Supplementary Advice is one piece of the jigsaw. David Cameron and Lord Nash have both welcomed this Supplementary Advice and we have got to the starting line. All of our jobs now as expert agencies, teachers, Unions and schools is to make sure we don't mistake the task of producing the Supplementary Advice for the real task - improving SRE in schools.  All of us at Brook and our colleagues at the PSHE Association and Sex Education Forum look forward to working with you to develop SRE for the 21st Century.

Thanks to everyone - too numerous to name here - for support, insight, challenge and perspectives and to Sarah Townsend (@STEcopywriting) and Ashley Goldstein (@weaseldance) for their important contributions.  I would personally welcome any feedback about the Supplementary Advice at communications@brook.org.uk so we can know whether it has hit the spot and what else we can do to support teachers to get on with the real job  - delivering excellent SRE for young people.

Happy weekend - follow us on twitter @simonablake @besexpositive @brookcharity and please do use the hashtag SREAdvice

21st Century SRE - time for a party?

Last week I was talking to one of the @besexpositive volunteers who was involved in developing Brook's 21st Century Sex and Relationships Education (SRE) campaign in 2011 (find out more here). We started with the important bit - the day JLS said they would support the campaign and their visit to our offices. We then moved on to talking about the development of the campaign. We worked with an agency to help us develop our campaign for 'statutory SRE'. They challenged us hard to develop a different concept because most people wouldn't understand what statutory SRE is, what would be different than now, and anyway if government is saying they will not make it statutory we needed a concept that would provide space for a credible alternative. And so the concept of 21st Century SRE was born. 

And as the debates have shown over the last months, they were right. I still firmly believe that statutory SRE is the way that we will see the type of improvements we need, but I am really willing to be proven otherwise. In 2011, Ann Milton, then Public Health Minister, when speaking at Brook's conference said SRE must be improved but that statutory obligations were not the way to make it happen. If there is another way to make the long jump we need to make sure all children and young people get 21st Century SRE show me that way and I, and I am sure most others will be a big champion. 

 I changed my Twitter profile at the beginning of January to read: "Optimistic 2014 will be a good year for sex and relationships education". If January is anything to go by, those of us who have campaigned for high quality sex and relationships education for decades should be having a party by the end of the year. 

The political support for high quality SRE keeps growing. Below are statements/tweets from our Prime Minister, Deputy Prime Minister and Shadow Home Secretary in the last couple of weeks - these statements from three of the most senior people across the main political parties.

“I think we can do better in terms of sex and relationship education. We must focus on healthy relationships, and I think we can add onto the guidance that’s produced, better guidance on, for instance, problems of cyber-bullying, sexting - we need to deal with that.”

– David Cameron, speaking before the Commons Liaison Committee, January 2014

“I think there is a special need for us to improve, strengthen, modernise and update the way that we provide sex and relationship guidance and education in schools.”

– Nick Clegg, speaking at a reception for sexual health charity Terrence Higgins Trust, January 2014

"We are hoping that the House of Lords will vote for compulsory sex and relationships education which […] has to include updated guidance around the internet, around exposure to pornography, and all of those sorts of pressures on young people."

– Yvette Cooper, BBC Woman's Hour, 27 January 2014 

This week the House of Lords will debate a number of amendments to make SRE statutory and a separate one to update the statutory guidance. Follow @brookcharity and @simonablake for the latest information about progress with those debates. Whatever the outcome of these debates, it is clear that we are reaching a tipping point where more and more sensible people are recognising that good SRE is critical in enabling children and young people to move from puberty into adolescence and adulthood with the confidence, skills and resilience to navigate their way through 21st century Britain. A briefing on the amendment is available here. Labour's campaign for statutory SRE is here. 

At the same time parents, carers and all those working with children and young people know good SRE is vital and want help to do it well. So to help schools, independently of government, Brook has teamed up with the PSHE Association and Sex Education Forum to produce Supplementary Advice to the SRE Guidance (0116/2000) which we will be publishing in the next month. We have had expert input from a range of organisations to help us. The Advice will address issues that are not in the statutory SRE Guidance, such as teaching about healthy relationships, sexual consent, and violence and exploitation as well as topics thrown into sharp relief by the rapid development of technology such as online pornography and 'sexting'. 

It is clear that the consensus in support of SRE keeps on and on building, both across political parties, professional groups and the general public, but is it time to get out the party frock? Let's keep our fingers crossed, but my instinct is probably not just yet. We have though reached a tipping point and there is no way but forward. Whilst the politicians keep debating the whys and wherefores, all of us on the ground of course must and will keep on doing our best working in partnership with children and young people to develop and deliver the 21st Century SRE they tell us they want. 

Saturday morning rambles: leadership, young women, body image and more

Other titles for this blog could have been 'end of month brain dump', 'saturday morning couldn't sleep in because I went to bed too early'.  Essentially a collection of reflections as I process the week gone by.

1. Leadership and optimism

I am interested in how different people and organisations are responding to the opportunities and challenges of the political, commissioning, and economic landscape.

We need to be both optimistic and make realistic assessments about the difficulties and challenges.  We also have to be pleased with good enough when good enough really is good enough.

If I crudely categorise those perspectives I hear and see;

• everything is getting better
• everything is going to be alright in the end
• everything will be alright if we get busy with the difficult conversations and look at how we collaborate for change
• we need to make sure what I/my organisation does and how we do it stays the same and investment stays the same
• we have taken the biggest hit we can, we cannot take anymore
• we are all doomed 

All have some validity depending on where you sit and what outcomes you are looking for. It seems to me our biggest leadership challenge is to operate with a strong values and outcomes focus so we can focus on what we know works, be confident enough to bin that which doesn't and use this as the basis for discussing the really important choices that have to be made.

New challenges require models of bold and collaborative leadership; providers, commissioners and 'consumers' (people) come together to develop and build solutions that really work.  I am excited to be part of and watch us all step up to the plate and make this happen.

2. Addressing the needs of young women

I have been in a number of meetings recently where I or somebody else has emphasised the need for a focus of time, energy and resources on supporting young women's personal and social development.
I have been interested/surprised at how often the conversation is very quickly moved on to how 'its not just young women' and it is equally difficult it is for young men, or for LGBT young people.

In none of the cases has anybody been arguing that the needs of LGBT young people or young men are not important, simply that we need to think about young women and gender, about structural inequalities and the impact of these on young women; and that resources, time and energy are required to truly meet the needs of young women.

I enjoyed reading this article on the fourth wave of feminism last week http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/dec/10/fourth-wave-feminism-rebel-women  I hope this social action will form part of a culture shift where people think hard and well about gender identity and structural inequalities as part of our work to build resilience and well being, and to help all young people shoot for their dreams.

3. Body image

Last week Jo Swinson MP held a round table event on body image.  We have heard a lot about online pornography and sexualisation in recent months. I have had numerous conversations with colleagues about both issues.  As you would expect people have different perspectives about the potential harm that may be caused by easy access to the internet, pornography and sexualisation of the young. 

As I listened to people at the round table it brought it home to me that do need to be talking about and paying particular and more attention to how we support young women and young men to develop a positive body image against a backdrop of 24 hour access to the internet and social media. How we feel about our bodies impacts on our self confidence, self belief, what we believe we are capable of and what we can expect.

Coming out of the round table one of my work 2014 resolutions is to find out more about the evidence, and more about the work of organisations like Beat, and Body Gossip to see what and how Brook may be able to do to build on our existing work in this area as part of sex and relationships education, and how we can work collaboratively with other organisations to ensure we are doing the best for all young people. 

4. Different world views

I went to Marrakech a few days after the Office of the Children's Commissioner report on Child Sexual Exploitation (read it here) for a friends 50th birthday (best DJ ever).  With consent high on my mind you can imagine how unpleasant it was being in a discussion on the Sunday morning with a local man and a slightly fuzzy head about how gay people would go to hell, how alcohol made men rape women, and how the weirdest thing ever was men who wanted to be women.

It was very clearly one of those discussions in which neither of our minds were going to be changed. I brought the conversation to a close with a swift 'in my view you are very definitely wrong for a number of reasons and I cannot talk about this with you anymore.'

This combined with India's ruling this week about gay people, Australia's U turn on equal marriage remind us how much there is to do not just in the UK, but also across the world.  Chris Bryant MP wrote a great article in the Independent about making sure each and everyone of us keeps the pressure for a fairer, better world on.  Read it here

This will likely be my last blog before the holidays start to kick in. I, like I am sure most others, am looking forward to a bit of down time over the holiday period.  Whatever you are doing - opening Brook or other health and community services for young people, resting in front of the fire, sleeping and watching crap TV for a week - I hope you have a good time and some down time with people you enjoy. 

I will be writing my traditional 'how did sexual health fare in the past year' blog in front of a wood fire in Cornwall on NYE. As one colleague said about this year 'its not all sunshines and lollipops'.  That may be true Polly Toynbee's excellent article about the impact of the teenage pregnancy strategy in both reducing teenage pregnancy, and supporting young people to be good parents published yesterday is definitely a good reminder there are some lollipops and we mustn't let go of them. You can read it here - Happy holidays!

A sex positive approach to SRE

A few weeks ago I was invited to speak at Sexpression's annual conference.  I was briefed to speak about adopting a sex positive approach to SRE.  The week before I had presented to the National Union of Students.  On both occasions it was a privilege to be in a room with such passionate young adults, who are doing excellent work now, and are doubtlessly the leaders of the future. Both were examples of social action in action - embodying the ethos of @stepuptoserve launched this week.

More on NUS in a future blog; back to Sexpression.  Sexpression is a network of University students who run Sexpression groups across the country to deliver SRE in schools.

The particular pleasure of talking to Sexpression was their determination to change our culture so it is more open about sex, sexuality and relationships, who want to challenge prejudice and inequalities and at the same time they know, remember and are generally feeling young, and are the first generation living the increasingly integrated on and offline lives which can baffle and worry so many adults.

Inspired by their commitment I promised to write up my talk.  It took more time than I expected translating bullet points to proper text and whilst I know publishing talks is a no no, I thought this is worth publishing on my blog.

Young people as talented and resourceful, with skills and assets that SRE can further develop. Despite how they are often portrayed young people are active moral agents who, with the right education, support and services manage their choices and relationships exceptionally  well.

So our starting point in SRE must be a positive one, based on trust; underpinned by a belief that if you provide good education and support grounded in human rights, young people will have a better chance of developing confidence, self belief and a deeper understanding of and respect for their own rights and the rights of others.

This sounds straightforward but can be challenged by a number of factors;

1. Often as adults we find it difficult to remember what it feels like to be a young person - I am 40 in a couple of months and increasingly I hear my parents words coming out of my mouth.

2. Public policy is driven to solve problems - whether it be HIV, teenage pregnancy, chlamydia, or Child Sexual Exploitation or violence against women.

Current concerns about sexualisation and commercialisation are big issues which have to be addressed positively.  Too often SRE is viewed as part of the perceived problem of sexualisation, rather than part of the solution.

Fundamentally SRE is an entitlement for all children and young people - to be effective in contributing to the reduction of public policy problems SRE should be focus on positive concepts like consent, choice and freedoms. The overall value of  SRE can be undermined if it becomes narrowly focused on solving a problem because attention, funding and resources follow problems.

3. We still have a peculiar attitude to young people, sex and sexuality in the UK.  A consensus exists in support of SRE and access to confidential health services.  Yet we have not yet translated that consensus into a shared vision for young people where as a country we have high expectations for their relationships and sex, and create a culture, education and services so they in turn have high expectations and the skills and confidence to demand and achieve these for themselves.

4. Our perceptions of reality can be warped - generally people over estimate things the wrong way (more crime than there actually is) - for example in sex terms - everyone is having sex earlier than they are, teenage pregnancy rates higher than they everyone is 'sexting' and 'twerking' and watching 'extreme pornography'. The reality of course is that some young people are and some are either not, or if they are they may not perceive it to be causing them or others harm.

5. We are often poor at dealing sensibly with that which we don't understand. That is why young people's use of social media is worrying some people. It is right to have genuine concerns but that has to be in the context of social media being an overwhelmingly power for good.  But when something is new and worrying it can feel better for adults to try to control 'it' rather than empower young people to navigate their way through responsibly - especially when young people are not trusted as moral agents who can manage their decisions and so we go full circle.

So how do we turn the rhetoric of being sex positive into good SRE practice?

1. Focus on the real realities - be clear with young people that you trust them as moral agents and that most young people intend to, and do manage their sexual health and relationship choices well , even if they make mistakes and have challenges along the way.

Be clear about the fact that not 'everybody is doing it all the time'; don't gloss over violence and exploitation in relationships - talk about issues in context and in proportion to facts; ensure young people know prejudice, violence and exploitation is always wrong and focus on actively teaching about consent and pleasure. What does it mean, how do you make sure decisions are active choices for everybody?

2. Think about how to teach the positive - SRE it seems we can spend lots of time marching on well trodden territory that can often be tedious and pr unhelpful  for young people.

For example;

Myths - we can inadvertently breathe life into myths that should really be allowed to RIP if we repeat them in SRE. It can be difficult to remember what is myth and what is fact so young people (like adults) are at risk of being left muddled.

Creating positive norms - we create norms by what we focus our teaching. Take condom use. Young people are often given a task of negotiating condom use. It might be  more helpful to say 'if you have sex you have to use a condom' and then spend time building confidence learning about condoms and how to use them. By doing an exercise on negotiation we miss both the opportunity to make condom use the expected norm and spend valuable time learning negotiation skills rather than building confidence in using condoms.

Videos and education in theatre can sometimes show people 'getting it wrong' - eg demonstrating violence - without showing how to get it right - eg negotiating and compromising.  Given many young people will have limited experience of their own intimate relationships this misses a trick.

3. Focus on consent - what it is, what it means and how you know whether you want to consent or not. The skills to say Yes, No, May be and the skills to hear and act responsibly on Yes, No, Maybe.

In this context we also have to talk much and often about structural inequalities, about all forms of abuse, about violence against girls and women, homophobia and transphobia, the impact of inequalities on violence and abuse, and the personal responsibility all of us have to stand up against and tackle all forms of abuse, prejudice and violence, and helping young people really understand consent and what it means in practice.

4. Discussion on pleasure must be integrated into all our work - its not a single separate session as it can be made to be.  We can helpfully talk about 'mental and physical orgasms' - as one young woman put it 'talk about the shivers and what it feels like when you are so excited you can hardly breathe'. Brook and the University of Sussex have published the first in a series of films on sex - visit the good sex knowledge exchange project pages on www.brook.org.uk

5. Be actively inclusive - in our desire to be inclusive we can - young people sometimes  say - end up sounding sterile and irrelevant.  This provdes a challenge for us as educators to find a relevant inclusive language.

For example some young people have told me the term 'partner' seems very adult. So instead of saying partner find phrases that suit - so for example it may sound more relevant to say 'in every school some people will like men and some will like women and some both'.

It is important to considering the language that makes sense to you to use so you can be actively inclusive and make sure it feels relevant for all young people is important.

6. New technologies can be liberating in that where SRE has traditionally imparted lots of information it can now focus on helping young people learn about and develop skills to find out information.

The internet has a significant amount of sex positive information for people with all gender and sexual identities, abilities and desires. That creates new issues for young people about learning to stay safe online and be discerning about the quality of information, to understand how to identify and deconstruct myths, stereotypes and misinformation.

So, as @brookcharity's @besexpositive volunteers remind me often we need to plan, deliver and evaluate SRE so it is consistently rigorous, relevant and enjoyable. SRE must be sensitive to the diversity of children and young people's experience and prepare them to move through puberty, adolescence and into adulthood with pride, confidence and high expectations for their healthy relationships.

Follow us on twitter
@simonablake
@brookcharity
@besexpositive
@xescampaign

The Age of Consent - I welcome cross party support to keep it at 16

Professor John Ashton, President of the Faculty of Public Health called for a national debate about the age of consent.  His argument, as reported in the Sunday Times, is society is sending confused signal about when sex is permitted. He said that if the legal age for sex was lowered to 15 it would draw a line in the sand against sex at 14 or even younger, and it would make it easier for 15 year olds in a sexual relationship to seek contraception and sexual health advice from the NHS.  Our confusion he adds means the 15 year olds are not getting clear routes to getting support.

Brook is the leading young people's sexual health charity in the UK.  We provide clinical and support services to  over a 1000 young people everyday. A sizeable proportion of those will be under 16 and in need of contraceptive and sexual health care.

Professor Ashton is absolutely right,  as a country we are confused about sex and sexuality and you just need to look at the range of messages young people get to see they do get mixed messages about sex and sexuality.  We see the result of that societal confusion everyday at Brook in the lack of information, embarrassment and pressure many young people have about their bodies and sex.  

The UK approach is still a little bit 'Carry On'.  I am therefore pleased Prof Ashton has raised the debate. I was very interested at the range of responses and I was particularly pleased that a cross party consensus emerged from the debate to keep the age of consent at 16.  That reflects the broad consensus that exists in the country: the age of consent is a good indicator of the age at which we think people will be mature enough to enjoy and take responsibility for their sexual decisions.  I was also pleased to see clear recognition, from Mr Clegg in particular, that good quality sex and relationships education is an important part of the answer to reducing confusion, improving sexual health outcomes and providing appropriate support and help for young people.

So what do young people tell us? 
They tell us they want it to remain at 16. They say it makes it clear when we think it is about the right time to have sex if they are ready.  Research tells us that between a 1/3 and a 1/4 of young people have sex before they are 16.  Many of these, of course, will be 15 3/4 year olds which means that between 2/3 and 3/4 don't have sex before the age of 16.

Young people also tell us that the Age of Consent a) sometimes feels a bit irrelevant if they have made a decision to have sex - then it is love and trust that counts b) some young people - particularly young women - tell us the age of consent can be a good negotiating tool if they don't want to have sex, and are being encouraged or feel pressured to by a partner c) they need to know they are highly unlikely they will be criminalised if they have consenting sex with somebody who is about the same age and d) every young person must know they have a legal right to access contraceptive advice and treatment even if they are under 16.

The law is currently designed to protect children and young people from exploitation and abuse. It is not designed to criminalise consenting sex between two young people of a similar age. There is plenty of evidence to suggest it is generally working as it should be.  If we reduced the age of consent to 15,  drew a line in the sand and actively discouraged 14 years from having sex as Professor Ashton suggests, we could feasibly be in the position where the law requires prosecution of two 14 year old which would be a much worse position than we currently have.

As it stands there is no legal reason that 15 years old should not be able to get the support they need if we educate well. Young people can access free, confidential advice and treatment even if they are under 16.  This is well established in case law when Lord Fraser made a ruling in the Gillick v Wisbech Health Authority case in 1986. The Fraser Guidelines set out the criteria that health professionals must follow to make a judgement about whether an under 16 year old can be provided contraceptive and sexual health treatment.  These Guidelines provide a very straightforward framework for health professionals to exercise judgement.

Yes, of course some young people may be put off accessing services if they are under 16 and having sex, but we know from determined efforts that through education and reassurance, through emphasising confidentiality and building trust we can ensure all young people feel confident accessing services.  A change in the law is not required to address that.

I was also interested that Professor Ashton is advocating a chain of health centres specialising in adolescent health.  As teenagers would attend the Centres for all health problems, the clinics would not be stigmatised as dealing primarily with contraception and sexual health he argues. Brook has almost 50 years of providing services that deal with sexual health primarily within the context of holistic health and well being.

Young people have told us they want us to deal with more issues, particularly emotional health and mental well being at Brook.  In response we have completed our first phase research - which tells us that yes they want a wider bundle of services but that must not detract from the contraception and sexual health service - are building strategic partnerships and will be launching and evaluating a pilot service in the North West to establish what that would offer, and importantly what impact it would have.  Watch this space.

It is argued that countries with a lower age of consent have lower rates of teenage pregnancy.  I don't make that causal link.  When i have visited and worked with colleagues from countries that have got this stuff right, they tend to have an open and positive view about sex and sexuality, parents and children are open in discussing sexual matters, good sex and relationships education is just a fact of life and young people are confident accessing sexual health services.

The national debate in the UK it seems to me should be how do we create a revolution that builds a positive and open culture about young people, sex and sexuality in the UK - we must strive for openness about sex and sexuality, high expectations within relationships, easy access to services, better communication about relationships and sex at home and at school with a real focus on consent and what it means to actively give and seek consent.  We must see sex and relationships education as part of the solution to the challenges of our time - sexualisation, easy access to online pornography, sexual exploitation and violence against girls.

There are changes we can all start making today, right now to drag ourselves into the 21st Century and ditch those lingering Victorian attitudes to sex.

My concern is that the debate about the Age of Consent filters onto young people's airways and what young people hear is 'you cannot access services if you are under 16 and so we need a change in the law'.  That must not be allowed to happen, so lets shout from the rooftops 'you can access services even if you are under 16s, tell your friends'.

Follow us @brookcharity @simonablake @besexpositive

Sex and Relationships Education Policies

Over the weekend there has been a lot of twitter action and concern about the inclusion of statements about sexual orientation in SRE policies. I am delighted to see from @wesstreeting that a number of schools have been in touch with Stonewall today to seek their advice. It is clear that the Department for Education Guidance on sex and relationships education needs to be updated.

I was involved in the development of the guidance in 2000 and it seems at least a lifetime ago. Since it was published we have a new government. We have the Equality Act. We have an education system with ever greater diversity of schools. We have a greater awareness and focus on a range of issues including sexual exploitation, sexual diversity and sexting/online bullying. We have Equal Marriage on the statute books. Importantly we also have over a decade of learning from the Healthy Schools Programme and the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy, and with that comes a much more robust evidence base which demonstrates clearly what works in the development and delivery of inclusive and sex positive SRE.

I got up stupidly early this morning to read a number of them and whilst I have not spoken to anyone in the schools so it is only a hunch, my assessment is that it is most likely the majority are simply copy and pasting parts from other policies and the DfEE (as was) guidance 0116/2000. In a number of them there is an incoherence (and in at least one the Family Education Trust named as an Authority) which suggests that at least in some there may well be less a wilful desire to stigmatise, and more a skills gap -people being asked to develop and ratify policies for SRE as an undervalued area of the curriculum, with less training and support than we would hope. As a result of SRE being undervalued the authors may not have the expertise to develop the policy based on the law and best practice and governors not trained to understand how to scrutinise these effectively as they do not know themselves what best practice looks like.

Whilst this is far far less than ideal and shows how much more needs to be done I still think it is unhelpful to describe these policies as reintroducing Section 28. You can read why here http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/simon-blake/section-28-banish-forever_b_3185403.html.

The National Children's Bureau published a document on PSHE policy and practice which includes a framework for a PSHE policy which you can read here http://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/media/2561/pshe_wholeschool_2006.pdf.

We know what 21st Century SRE looks like, we simply need government guidance to reflect and promote it.

The Sex Education Forum @sex_ed_forum, the PSHE Association @PSHEassociation, Stonewall @stonewall and Brook @brookcharity

PSHE: a liberating mandate

This week I had the pleasure of speaking at a Westminster Briefing Event about Personal, Social and Health Education.  I was fourth to go in an impressive line up of speakers so when planning my presentation I was pretty sure there would be a whole lot of duplication if I wasn't careful.  I therefore abandoned powerpoint so I wouldn't be a slave to it come what may.  I went with a few key messages, and a view to identifying and addressing the issues delegates raised throughout the session.

This approach can be a bit unnerving but it has always served me well in the past, and so it proved this time too.  Joe, Jenny and Janet from PSHE Association and Ofsted were excellent and did indeed cover all the issues I would have and more had I prepared a powerpoint.

If you read no further, here is a key message from the session - Ofsted is clear there is a correlation between outstanding PSHE and outstanding schools.  This is an important piece of evidence and a big carrot for anyone trying to get more curriculum time and resources for PSHE.  It also seems to have been missed by many in the recent PSHE report 'Not good enough yet' from Ofsted.

Here are some of the other key points from the morning.

1. DfE have published their revised National Curriculum proposals (consultation ends first week of August). It is not proposed that PSHE is a compulsory subject, however there is a clear expectation and mandate that PSHE should form part of a balanced curriculum. For the first time ever it is clear that maintained secondary schools are required to provide sex and relationships (my emphasis) education which is excellent.

Not unexpectedly there was a consensus from speakers and delegates that schools can only fulfil their requirements to provide a broad and balanced curriculum, and support their spiritual, moral, social and cultural development if they provide PSHE.

Once the final National Curriculum is published, as far as PSHE is concerned DfE is not going to do much more.  We therefore need to look to Ofsted with confidence to ensure that provision for personal, social development is part of the inspection regime.  Janet Palmer from Ofsted emphasised that children and young people are much more involved in the inspection process than previously and so their health and well being does come to the fore more during inspection.

With the expectation from DfE that PSHE will be delivered, and the knowledge that DfE will not be producing further guidance we are now liberated and mandated to get on with it ourselves. The teachers and partners who work within them are free to get on and deliver without the shadow of politicisation on the subject.

It will be up to schools to develop and deliver a curriculum that meets their children's needs, and it will be beholden on us to find out where it is working well and share examples of best practice.  Organisations such as The PSHE Association, Sex Education Forum and ourselves at Brook will continue to share learning from schools across the country, and provide training and support.

We must use this opportunity that has been created to generate a new dialogue that helps senior leaders recognise and understand the value of PSHE in creating safe schools where all children can achieve, develop and grow with confidence, and that teachers are supported and trained to deliver PSHE confidently.

2. The major teaching Unions are all increasingly supportive of the need for PSHE.  That increasing support is really welcome and their influence and leadership will help improvement.

3. Whilst some young people do experience disadvantage and can be extremely vulnerable to abuse and violence as a result, we have a heightened and disproportionate sense of risk and danger to, and threat from young people that is out of step with the evidence of what life is really like.  We also sometimes expect PSHE (and school) to be a panacea for all societal problems which it cannot be.

It is important to remember we live in the most peaceful times ever.  Most young people, with the right support and care, navigate their way through adolescence successfully, and demonstrate incredible talent and resourcefulness along the way.  PSHE and access to confidential sexual health and support services is a universal right and entitlement for all children and young people. Additional targeted support can and must be provided for those young people who need it both within and outside the classroom.

To help professionals realistically assess harm Brook has an online safeguarding Traffic Light Tool which can help professionals to identify and assess sexual behaviours - it can be found at www.brook.org.uk/traffic-lights

4. We must helpfully stop calling some issues 'sensitive'.  There are a cluster of issues including homosexuality, sexual exploitation and FGM which are often referred to as sensitive.

If we frame them as sensitive issues they will continue to be perceived as such for generations to come.  Some adults may find issues difficult to talk about, and of care always needs to be taken when discussing these issues in the classroom but that does not make it a sensitive issue.  Sexual exploitation and FGM are both abuse and must be talked about and must be described as as such.  Schools have a duty to promote equality and in the words of Stonewall, 'some people are gay, get over it'.

5. There is absolutely no legislation that says certain issues cannot be talked about in the classroom - as with all lessons, the school policy provides the framework within which teachers use their professional judgement about what to say and how to say it.  If the teacher considers it inappropriate to discuss an issue or answer a question in a classroom environment it is the teachers responsibility to either speak in a 1:1 setting or signpost the young person to somebody who can help them.

6. To end where I started, there is a clear link between educational attainment and PSHE.  This combined with our moral imperative to ensure children and young people have the skills and resourcefulness to move with confidence through puberty, into adolescence and adulthood makes this mandate and fresh commitment from DfE to the relationships part of sex and relationships education a welcome one.

Useful websites www.psheassociation.org.uk, www.sexeducationforum.org.uk and of course www.brook.org.uk

Follow us on twitter

@simonablake
@besexpositive
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Basically we need sex and relationships education everywhere

There has been a lot of discussion and press coverage recently about pornography and its impact on young people's values and attitudes and their understanding of healthy relationships, consent and sexual violence and safety. The Office of the Children's Commissioner published  'Porn is basically everywhere....' (hence the title of this blog). As I write this weekend Woman's Hour is discussing pornography, sexual violence and the importance of sex education as fundamental in protecting young people.

As you would expect there is a very wide range of different views about pornography and its impact on attitudes and behaviour. The evidence is in fact pretty unclear (see http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jun/30/ban-pornography-and-you-promote-censorship).  It is crystal clear however is the back drop against which young people develop an understanding of sex and sexuality is changing dramatically in the digital age and access to pornography is getting easier.

Pornography comes in all shapes and sizes. Some of it portrays illegal, abusive and dangerous activity and that of course requires a particular response.  And despite much of the concern focusing on 'hard core porn' the confidence and concerns of a lot of young people are likely to be centred around images of 'perfect' bodies and and overly competent sexual activity that creates anxiety and confusion about pubic hair, ejaculate, breast or penis size etc.

It is also clear that whatever internet controls are available access to and availability of pornography is here to stay.  Our job as sensible adults is to trust young people, keep pornography use in perspective and to ensure that pornography is not the primary sex educator for young people by educating them about pornography ourselves.

Despite what many people believe most young people manage their sexual lives and relationships pretty well. Day in day out at Brook we see hundreds of young people who despite our peculiar culture about sex make an active decision to access education, help, advice and treatment.

Most of them tell us they wish they had better education at home and at school, most of them know the difference between fantasy and reality or are savvy enough to ask the difference if we create safe spaces. And it is our job to ensure ALL of them know the difference between fantasy and reality and have safe spaces to ask through good education and support. That is why I was so pleased to see the recommendation from the Office of the Children's Commissioner that we must improve sex and relationships education in schools.

It is our job to help young people - both young men and young women - feel good about themselves and confident about their rights,  understand what consent is and how to actively give or refuse it, the importance of only having sex they want and choose and know that everyone has the right to say no, to change their mind or to do some things but not others.

And whatever else goes on in the digital age those are values, beliefs and skills we can and must nurture in our young people. To do otherwise is an abdication of our responsibility to young people.

The Sex Education Forum has published a magazine to help us talk to young people about pornography (www.ncb.org.uk/SEF). http://bishuk.com/ also has useful advice and materials.

Rent: teaching and learning about HIV

Last night I went to see the 20th Anniversary concert of Rent @rentinconcert with my co-Rent addict @smunnings01.  Rent is a musical set in the East Village of New York in the early 90s. It is about love, life and HIV.  I first saw the musical almost 16 years ago when I had only been working in HIV and sexual health for a couple of years.  At that time many more people - friends and colleagues - were still dying from AIDS related illnesses with horrifying frequency.

Each year the Health Protection Agency publishes statistics on HIV.  By the end of 2011 an estimated 96,000 people were living with HIV in the UK.  It is estimated that about a quarter of those do not know they are infected.

The first time I saw Rent was the day my Grandad died.  He was old and he had been ill.  I understood his death and although of course I was upset, it made sense to me.  As a young gay man in my early 20s I was still struggling to make sense of the assault of HIV on the gay community.  In my professional life I was learning about the UK policy response to the epidemic. I was also trying to make sense of what HIV meant for me having newly arrived in London. I remember very clearly sitting in the theatre and being overwhelmed and angry by the devastation AIDS was causing in individuals, families and communities, and simultaneously uplifted by the optimism of the play.

In 1987 FPA published an excellent training handbook on HIV and AIDS by Hilary Dixon and Peter Gordon called Working with Uncertainty.  In their introductory chapter they say because HIV infection is still shrouded in fear, myth, exaggeration and confusion.... Fast forward 25 years or show and that fear, myth, exaggeration and confusion about HIV still exists especially, but not exclusively, amongst the young.  Over a decade ago Ofsted reported that teaching about HIV was inadequate in too many schools.

At that time the DfEE was demonstrating clear leadership on PSHE and responded positively to Ofsted's report.  They funded National Children's Bureau and Sex Education Forum to produce a teaching resource to help schools.  Teaching and Learning about HIV updated and brought together all of the excellent materials that had been produced to help teachers and others working with young people to educate them about HIV.  It is available here http://www.ncb.org.uk/hiv/resources-for-professionals/teaching-learning-about-hiv.

Fast forward another ten years - bringing us right up to now in the 21st Century - and the Sex Education Forum carries out research that tells us 1 in 4 young people learnt nothing about HIV and AIDS in schools.  The research also shows significant gaps in knowledge and information.

As one young person in the SEF research said "Just because we are afraid of the way AIDS can affect our lives doesn't mean we hide it under the rug.  Speaking about it will keep knowledge up.  And with that knowledge comes the power to help ourselves."

Wise words indeed. Combine this insight with the fact the report also identified almost half said they did not think they had learnt what they needed about HIV at school and we should all be worried - parents, education and health professionals and politicians alike.

Policy and decision makers in school, local, regional and national level would do well to heed this information when making decisions about school and community based sex and relationships education and services for young people.  Here is the report www.ncb.org.uk/media/333229/young_people_experiences_of_hiv_and_aids.pdf

Tackling HIV requires a multi-faceted universal and targeted approach and there are many excellent organisations with detailed information and advice about HIV including Terence Higgins Trust www.tht.org.uk, National AIDS Monitor www.nam.org.uk, National AIDS Trust www.nat.org.uk.

PSHE along with good teaching about HIV in science is one critical and important part of our response to tackling HIV.  Whilst many teachers in schools and professionals in community settings are providing incredibly good learning experiences about HIV, too many young people have been let down by inadequate education about HIV in the past.  Many of us hoped that would change with the outcomes of the Government's PSHE review.

Last month Gove published that Review and essentially left it to schools to decide what to do.  This decision lets down another generation of young people.  Brook and other expert organisations, teachers, parents and young people agree that the status quo isn't good enough.  It has failed too many young people.  Our job now is to work together to improve teaching about HIV as part of a comprehensive package of PSHE and education about sexually transmitted infections in science.

As Professor Jane Anderson, Chair of the British HIV Association tweeted in response to an earlier version of this blog biomedical and scientific advances aplenty, but without teaching and learning their power just evaporates. Education key.  We cannot and must not allow another commentator to be writing in ten years time that we still haven't got a grip on teaching children and young  people about HIV education once and for all.

To help us there are many excellent resources including this online resource for schools and others to address the issues with young people: Positive? Awareness of and Attitudes to HIV www.learningpositive.com.  

Trigger material for educators - ending relationships and more

Time and again I have heard PSHE Coordinators frustrated that they have the smallest budget in the school - often not much more per year than the weekly petty cash tin!  But where there are specialist PSHE teams and teachers who are excited about working with young people on relationships and sexuality this doesn't matter - there is no need to buy resources because there is so much trigger material available in books, on the radio and increasingly on the internet - You Tube, Facebook, twitter etc which make the issues live and relevant for young people.  

Whilst it has been a long time since I did any real work in the classroom on a regular basis, I do still find myself thinking a lot about how I would use material I read, see and listen to if I were working with young people on a day to day basis, and use this blog to document some of that when I have time to do so.

I am going through a phase of reading biographies/autobiographies and rekindled my love of the Desert Island Disc Archive.

Ending relationships well is one of the areas that educators often say they have difficulty finding good trigger material for.  Today I listened to Dawn French's Desert Island Interview and between 25 and 30 minutes in there is fantastic material where Dawn talks about how brilliantly they managed to end the relationship and how it reflected the brilliance of the marriage.

She also talks powerfully about self belief and believing 'she is the type of person who can write a book, or do a one woman play in the West End'.  Given that we know that so often it is one's own self belief that limits us rather than that there are practical things blocking us, this too could be useful for working with young people - perhaps particularly young women - about self esteem and confidence.

I read her autobiography a while ago, and had another quick flick through - the book picks up these themes and also addresses provides some passages that would be helpful about body image.

I have also read Will Young's autobiography Funny Peculiar which has a number of really useful sections which could provide trigger material about homophobia, homosexuality and self confidence.  For example the following on page 150 where he says

I am at a stage where I am fully comfortable with being a gay man and a gay pop star.  I have found the balance that is right for me, and I am proud of it......You can be whoever you want to be.  That is the key.  It is about finding what works for you that matters - not anybody else. 

could be used to trigger discussion with young people.

This week I am excited because I am going back into the classroom with one of Brook's education team in Dudley.  I am very much looking forward to feeling that energy and buzz of a class of young people being inspired and interested to think about the areas of sex, gender, relationships and sexuality by an educator who believes this is stuff is important.

The Politics of SRE - a blog posted on the London School of Economics British Policy and Politics Blog

This is a link to a blog I have written for the London School of Economics about the recent politics of SRE.  I intend to keep it updated as time progresses and politics and policy evolve and unfold. 

Reading this was instructive in that it reminded me of the journey we have been on over the last decade - the highs and the lows. I was recently asked by a friend how I keep on campaigning and fighting on the same issues - I gave a very short reply, because we have to keep on going until ALL children and young people get good quality SRE.... 

http://blogs.lse.ac.uk/politicsandpolicy/2013/01/07/two-steps-forward-three-steps-back-the-current-state-of-sex-and-relationships-education-in-england/

1,2, 3 and Breathe - what was Newsnight like?

Yesterday I spent a lot of time with people asking me what Newsnight was like.  What was Jeremy Paxman like? What do you say when the lights go down? Much more interested in many cases about Newsnight than about what we were talking about!

So, I thought  I would blog about the experience and my response to some of the content.  As a first timer on Newsnight in preparation I watched a couple episodes on You Tube.  Mistake - the ones on You Tube are the ones to be frightened of - Chloe Smith's interview.  I knew it wouldn't be like that, but might it be like the night Peter Hitchins and Russell Brand debated drug policy with rudeness and people talking over each other?

I was expecting the panel to consist of Amber Rudd MP who had chaired the inquiry which led to the recommendation that SRE be made statutory (sign our petition here www.sexpositive.org.uk), a young mother whose name I did not know at the time, Professor David Paton, from Nottingham University who is anti-abortion and has active links with the Society for the Protection of the Unborn Child (SPUC) and myself.

Whenever I am representing Brook and young people in the media I have a degree of trepidation, and the level of this depends upon the programme, the topic, the interviewer, who you are on with etc.  So it is fair to say that I needed to do 1,2, 3 and breathe a few times throughout the evening, particularly as Paxman turned to me for the first time.

It was pouring with rain. when I left home. My hair will stick up at the back at the best of times, and best when wet.  So I arrived in 'make up' to see a peculiar brush head.  As emergency arrangements for hair, lightening of tired eyes and stubble took place I saw that Antonio Tully also from SPUC was also on the list. So now it was me, Amber Rudd, a young mother and two people with strong anti-abortion and anti SRE positions.

I went to the green room and Antonio was already there. I struggle to connect well with people who I perceive give out misinformation and perpetuate myths which is exactly what Antonio does about sex and relationships education.  So we made some small talk and then were joined by Sorayah, the young mother who the wonderful @Prymface had asked me to 'look after.'

Jeremy Paxman came into the green room, introduced himself and immediately said to Sorayah - they can look after themselves (indicating to us). He said something along the lines of  I just need you to know that I won't ask you any difficult questions and its just a conversation. Don't worry.  In his role as a journalist Paxman can be intimidating (watch the Chloe Smith interview).  I really respected and liked the approach he took coming in and seeking to reassure Sorayah.

First up, we learnt was the DG of the BBC about the Newsnight decision to drop the programme exposing Jimmy Saville as a paedophile.  Paxman and I spoke briefly about the importance of SRE - ie naming body parts, appropriate touching from an early age to help protect children against sexual abuse.  You can't always say everything you want to in a programme so here is 10 things about the programme content;

1. It was reassuring that the introductory film had the right information about teenage pregnancy and the fact that the TP strategy reduced conceptions by 25% and conceptions leading to live births by 35%.  Often this is not reported accurately.

2. It was brilliant to have young people's voices from the Respond Academy at the beginning of the programme.  You can read Brook's input to the Rudd inquiry based on the views of over 100 young people based on a memo that was sent from Amber Rudd's office following consultation with the young people from the Romance Academy  http://www.brook.org.uk/professionals/whats-new/interesting-articles/young-peoples-response-to-the-inquiry

3. Paxman turned first to Sorayah who told us a bit about her story and emphasised that she has no regrets being a young mother.  This was really important because it is really easy in these short debates to demonise young parents and that is unacceptable.  Young parents across the UK can be, and are very good parents as long as they have the support they need.  The Teenage Pregnancy Strategy always had two aims - prevent pregnancies AND support young parents

4. Antonio Tully suggested that parents must be involved and be the first educator - at Brook we absolutely agree, but we do not agree that parents are airbrushed out of the picture, rather that those who feel that are often the absolute tiny minority of parents who do not agree with SRE.  The consensus in support of SRE is well established across children, parents and teachers.

5. Antonio Tully also talked about sexually explicit sex education including naming of the body parts. I absolutely agree that sex education needs to include more on relationships and emotions, but I do not agree that it is too sexually explicit and I certainly do not think that body parts are explicit - even the penis and the vagina.

6. Sorayah July was very clear that she did not have sexually explicit sex education more needed to be done about consent, about emotions - linking the biological and the mechanics with the emotions.  Amber Rudd emphasised that there needs to be lots more education about relationships to be sex in context - whether it is in Citizenship or other parts of the curriculum.

7. David Paton expressed the view that because Holland has low teenage pregnancy rates and SRE isn't compulsory that SRE isn't effective.  The evidence is very clear that SRE alone is not adequate, but SRE, services young people trust and will go to get contraception, combined with a positive and open culture where parents talk to their children about relationships and emotions, high aspirations and expectations in general and in relationships.

8. David Paton also suggested that there are high failure rates of condoms and the pill amongst young people and unfortunately this went unchallenged and without any further discussion about long acting methods of contraception that are available if more effective for a young woman.  He also talked about confusion about underage sex and the law and in the same sentence made reference to the BBC having problems with this linked to Jimmy Saville and abuse.  There is of course a world of difference between child sexual abuse and two 15 year olds having consenting sex and the two should not be discussed in the same sentence.

9. Following on from the discussion about consent, which Rudd had emphasised as critical in the report, I wanted to be clear that SRE is about young men as well as young women which was raised strongly in the report.  It is not just there to protect young women from young men.  SRE has to be meaningful for both genders. Yes, young men will often present a macho front, but behind that front there is marshmallow, fear and insecurity - young men are human after all - and we need to find creative ways to work with them in SRE their fears without exposing them to ridicule from their peers.

10. Antonio Tully talked about young people as though they are not able to make 'good' decisions.  This is an extraordinary view of young people in my view.  Kristin Luker, the great social researcher from the USA told me 'we get what we expect from young people - expect them to be irresponsible they will be, trust them to be responsible and they will be'.  We know at Brook that most manage their sexual health very very well.  Whilst many people may share the view that young people cannot make good decisions for themselves I and everyone who works at Brook are not of their number.

Finally when it comes to discussing SRE and consent in the context of teenage pregnancy it is easy to become narrowly focused.  We must forget that SRE is a right and an entitlement for everyone - gay, straight, young men or young women. SRE is about developing their confidence, their skills and enabling them to develop their own morality and autonomy.  So regardless of any arguments about evidence SRE is important.  Lets also remember the evidence shows that if you have the right context and culture coupled with SRE and services that young people absolutely trust and use, young people will have sex when they are able to enjoy and take responsibility for it, and teenage pregnancy rates will be lower - as we saw in England between 1998 and 2010.

I am pleased to have had the opportunity to go onto Newsnight to talk about SRE because a cross party inquiry has recommended it is made statutory. Now the really difficult bit - making sure it damn well happens.  As Amber Rudd said the government hasn't agreed to make it statutory yet, but she has only just started.  For those of you like me who have been round this loop before, it may not feel like it, but then we must push with all the enthusiasm as each and every time we have tried before.  

You can read the Rudd report of the cross party inquiry into unplanned pregnancy and link to the Newsnight on Iplayer is also here for the next few days http://www.2020health.org/2020health/Press/latest-news/Unplanned-Pregnancy-Report.html

Almost forgot what happens when the lights went down, we all breathed a sigh of relief, reached for our water went to get up too quickly, pretended we weren't trying to get up, were told to stay where we were because the camera was still on us, and then we laughed and talked about wondering what happens when the lights go down.

Happy Christmas!

Hurrah: some sense on statutory sex and relationships education

Just back from Newsnight talking about the Cross Party Inquiry into unplanned pregnancy chaired by @AmberRuddMP.  @_calendargirl, a young mum herself was fantastically articulate and the introductory film in Hastings and young people from the Respond Academy was factually accurate about the success of the teenage pregnancy strategy and enabled young people's views to be heard at the outset of the item.

Will blog some more about Newsnight tomorrow but for now some more about the Morning After Report which will be published on the 2020Health.org website tomorrow;

I am absolutely delighted that the inquiry has recommended that sex and relationships education is made statutory with a really strong focus on relationships.  For decades young people have been telling us that SRE is 'too little, too late and too biological (phrase stolen from my time at the Sex Education Forum over 13 years ago) and that it does not focus enough on relationships, emotions and real life dilemmas.

This report is timely given that we are still awaiting the outcomes of the government's review of Personal, Social, Health and Economic Education and the separate National Curriculum review.  Young people at Brook submitted a report to the PSHE Education Consultation in November 2011 which identified only 6% of young people said they received most of their relationships information from SRE teachers and 15% said they learn most about relationships from one or both parents.

Some real myths about pregnancy were also revealed including 59% had heard a woman couldn't get pregnant if the man withdraws before ejaculating and 58% that a woman couldn't get pregnant during their period. Their top recommendations for developing 21st Century SRE emphasise that the Rudd Inquiry Report is right to say we need to do more about relationships.  Their recommendations included SRE addressing body confidence, love, how to treat a boy or girlfriend, whether they were normal and how to behave in a relationship.  You can read the full report here http://www.brook.org.uk/images/brook/professionals/documents/press_releases/sreforthe21stcenturyreportfinal.pdf

And you can join over 3000 people by signing the young people's petition for 21st Century SRE here www.besexpositive.org.uk

As part of protecting young people well, the report sets out the need to teach about consent and protect young people from sexual exploitation.  Good education must enable both young men and young women to develop skills and confidence in asking, giving and refusing consent. Through our clinical and support services, as well as our education work Brook understands how critical developing understanding and changing attitudes towards consent is to eradicating gender based and sexual violence including rape.  Our sexual behaviours Traffic Light safeguarding tool at www.brook.org.uk/traffic-lights funded by the Department for Education is an important new tool to work with young people on healthy sexual behaviours.

The Coalition Government has been resistant to making PSHE statutory until now.  The policy direction remains that schools should be freed up from the pressures of a crowded curriculum. Brook urges government to consider this report and accept its recommendations.  And if yet again government decides not to make PSHE Education statutory my question will continue to be this;

We know that good quality SRE is an entitlement for all and has an important role in protecting children and young people from abuse, exploitation and rape, unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections so how will government fulfil its responsibilities and ensure that all children and young people receive that education as enshrined in the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child which the UK signed up to in 1989? 

The Rudd Inquiry report (The Morning After) also set out the importance of building on the success of the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy which ended in 2010 achieving a 24.3% decline in under 18 conceptions, and a 35% reduction in conceptions leading to live births.  The report makes a number of other important recommendations including;

• ensuring equal access to contraceptive services including Long Acting Reversible Contraception 
• better training for professionals including health visitors to provide contraceptive advice 
• the importance of engaging young men in education and sexual health decision making
• the importance of effective commissioning in the new Health System and the role of third sector in promoting sexual health

Young people from Brook contributed evidence to the inquiry and the report from young people can be found here www.brook.org.uk/professionals/whats-new/interesting-articles/young-peoples-response-to-the-inquiry

The report is published.  We will be working to ensure the recommendations are implemented.

Young People's Participation at Brook - our journey so far

Brook is on an exciting journey to become the best we can possibly be at involving young people. I am completely committed to young people participating at every single level.  It is essential that a young people's organisation is strongly driven and influenced by young people who we are working with and for. As a primary aged girl in key stage one said when I worked at NCB and was preparing implementation guidance on participation for the then Department for Children Schools and Families 'its more than just listening, you have to listen and then you have to act'.

Having moved from a Network of 16 charities to a single unified organisation, with strong support from the board of trustees, we are aiming to build on the best practice that already existed to create a positive and open culture of participation and youth leadership.

We have been making lots of progress over recent years with youth led campaigning creating the Big Issues Don't have to be a Big Deal campaign about body image and www.sexpositive.org.uk which campaigns for 21st Century SRE. We have young trustees on the board, peer educators, advisors, young people involved in recruitment of staff at all levels, mystery shoppers and so on so there was already an enormous amount of work to build on.

From a strong starting point, we prioritised fundraising to establish a lead participation role within Brook to lead and champion our participation work, so we were absolutely delighted to receive funding from the Paul Hamlyn Foundation to do just that.

One of the young women volunteering in Oldham spoke at our Annual General Meeting. Tara has agreed to have her speech published here;

“Before starting Brook, I was a stay at home mum and losing all confidence to go back to college or even work. I was really struggling to think what I wanted to do with my life. Then I saw a poster for Brook advertising that they wanted volunteers to work on a campaign. As soon as I seen it straight away I was eager to apply. I thought it was suitable as it involved working with young people and with me being a young mum I thought I could be good at giving advice. I still don’t know exactly what I want to do in life but volunteering for Brook has really boosted my confidence again and has helped me want to do something in life. Even though it’s early days with Brook we have a lot of excitement coming our way. We are currently working on our social action project which is about bullying. We will be running a café and asking the public about what bullying means to them and what affects it can have on people. Also we just want to raise people’s awareness on bullying. Volunteering for Brook has helped me work really well in a team and we are all really looking forward to start our project.”

And Naomi's AGM speech about participation and her work at Brook is below;

"Hi, I’m Naomi Sheppard and I’m the Participation Lead for Brook.

"Having become One Brook is a fantastic opportunity for us to celebrate young people’s involvement and build on our successes around participation. Earlier this year we were successful in our funding application to the Paul Hamlyn Foundation who are funding Brook’s participation project for two years in order to build a culture of participation within the new Brook organisation.

"The key aims of the project are to:

• increase opportunities for young people to influence policy and practice on sexual health
• increase the skills and confidence of staff to promote and support young people’s participation in all areas of their work
• increase the involvement of young people, particularly from priority minority groups such as disabled young people.

"We recognise the need for robust structures to provide genuine opportunities for young people to influence policy and decision-making at all levels of the organisation.

"With extensive changes to health commissioning there is a danger that user engagement will go missing in the change. Working within a current climate of major service redesign locally, regionally and nationally it is crucial that young people have a voice to influence, to ensure services of the future meet their needs.

"So far this year, young people have been actively involved in shaping Brook, by their involvement in the Tier 1 and 2 recruitment processes and now the Middle Management and Administration restructure.

"They have continued to shape and take ownership of Brook services via mystery shopping, peer education programmes, as campaign and outreach volunteers, and as Trustees on the Board. We have continued to work creatively with young people to ensure that their voices are heard, including supporting them to create short films, pod casts, posters, leaflets and blogs.

"Through our partnership with the O2 Think Big foundation, we are in the process of supporting young people to deliver 15 social action projects across Brook, focusing on issues ranging from breastfeeding support for young mums, anti-bullying, legal rights for Trans* young people, and accessibility for young people with disabilities.

"There is also the V24/24 programme which was successfully delivered in London, Liverpool and Oldham, providing a work experience placement for 24 weeks to young people who are viewed by society as the most vulnerable, offering key opportunities and tailored personal development plans to support them to achieve their individual goals.

"The young people that I’ve had the pleasure of working with this year have completely shattered society’s negative stereotype of young people. They are hard working, motivated, enthusiastic and passionate about young people’s rights around sexual health. And on that note I’d like to hand the floor over to some of our young volunteers so that they can tell you more about their social action projects and achievements themselves."

So back to me: I am proud of our progress so far, and am energised and excited by how much more we can do to work with young people to promote and protect sexual rights, to improve sexual health and wider health and well being.  It is a journey that will continue and continue and its a journey I am very much looking forward to - I am sure there will be some white knuckle roller coaster moments and I hope some times we will be able to sit back and enjoy the view and most of all I hope that young people's involvement will help us kick up the dust when we need to and shout from the roof tops about young people's rights.

Happy Birthday Sex Education Forum - my long tweet

This is really a substitute for a long tweet - Tomorrow is the Sex Education Forum's 25th Birthday Party and I am really sad to not be able to make the bash.  The Sex Education Forum was eight when we first met and now like then, I have rather fond feelings.  I agree wholeheartedly with what is stands for, I think SEF is quite remarkable in the way it brings people together in pursuit of a common aim, and I am proud to have been involved over the last 15 years or so.

The SEF matters to Brook because SRE matters so much to young people. Over the last year young people volunteering at Brook have supported what the research has told us - that current SRE is not good enough and they want more on relationships, emotions and sexualities.  They have therefore launched the @besexpositive (www.besexpositive.org.uk) campaign which sets out their desire for 21st Century SRE.

I have written a blog for the Sex Education Forum which will be published in due course and that tracks some of my highs and lows but in summary raising a glass and celebrating 25 years is important because the Sex Education Forum now, like then, is a body of organisations and people passionate about children and young people's rights to sex and relationships education.  And the Forum now, like then, is working with another successive government that is unwilling to make SRE statutory in schools which would go a long way to ensuring all children's entitlement to SRE. 

So the Forum may be 25 but its job isn't done and all of us must stand together for the next 10, 15 or 25 - however long it takes until that aspiration is a reality - to ensure that sex and relationships education is good enough for all children and young people.  

Happy Birthday SEF!