The #AskBrookAppeal – can you help?

Over 1,000 young people reach out to Ask Brook every month.

Ask Brook is our text and webchat helpline that provides young people with information and support on everything from sexual health to abuse, mental health issues to pregnancy choices. In a digital age, accurate and reliable information can be hard to come by. Ask Brook provides honest, non-judgemental advice to young people across the UK who have nowhere else to turn.

Please support our Ask Brook Appeal today

Alex White, our Ask Brook Service Manager, explains why the helpline is so important:

“A really big part of what Ask Brook does is to help young people access services. For a lot of young people, a sexual health appointment – through Brook, their GP, or a GUM clinic – will be the first ever medical encounter they've had without their parents. A lot of our clients worry about confidentiality, and being judged, and talking about private stuff to a stranger, and in lots of cases they don’t even know they can freely access such services – they think that because they're young the same rules don't apply.

“We’re only able to answer around 50% of the webchats we receive – something we’d love to be able to change. It would be great to recruit more volunteers, especially young volunteers, and to be able to run focus groups to find out from young people what they really want from the service.

“Ask Brook reaches over 1,000 young people every month, but we know there’s more demand for our service than we can currently fulfil. Ask Brook is vital because for many of our clients, they don’t feel there’s an adult in their life that they can talk to. We can give them affirmation that their concerns are justified and that help is out there.

“My heartfelt thanks to everyone who has supported the #AskBrookAppeal – you’re all amazing, and you’re directly helping young people who often don’t have anywhere else to turn.”

It costs £4.49 to provide a young person with support from Ask Brook – however this vital service receives no government funding.  

Can you help Ask Brook provide young people with the support and advice they need to stay safe and well this festive season?

Our service users tell us what Ask Brook means to them: 

“Sometimes it’s just good to have someone listen to you and understand.”
“I've learnt a lot from you. They never taught us this in school.”
"Thanks so much for your support.  I just don’t feel comfortable speaking with somebody face to face.”
"You are a brilliant team and so helpful to many young people, your quick responses are also brilliant. Thank you.”
“Thanks very much. It wasn't easy for me to talk to someone. You guys are doing a great job.”

With your support, Ask Brook can connect young people to the places they can go for help and give them information, as well as reassurance, when they feel like no one could possibly understand.

Please help us spread the word on Facebook and Twitter using #AskBrookAppeal. Support the Ask Brook Appeal and we’ll send you a festive e-card to send to your friends and family too.

From everyone at Brook, especially Ask Brook’s staff and volunteers – and on behalf of the thousands of young people who use Ask Brook’s service – thank you!

Sex In Class - the Brook view!

Simon Blake, former Chief Executive of Brook,
talks to Goedele Liekens

Last night’s Channel 4 programme, Sex In Class, was a fascinating hour-long look at the effects of a truly Sex:Positive approach to sex and relationships education (SRE). Presented by Goedele Liekens, a Belgian sexologist and UN Goodwill Ambassador for sexual health, Sex In Class demonstrated the power of giving young people the opportunity to talk about sex and relationships, and the importance of building up their confidence (especially the girls’), to help them draw their own boundaries.

Brook was approached by the production company who made the programme in the autumn of last year, and when we heard what they were planning, we were keen to get involved. The TV crew filmed interviews between our former Chief Executive Simon Blake and Goedele on two separate occasions, and to say they got on like a house on fire would be an understatement!

Of course, as often happens with TV, two hour-plus-long conversations full of excitement, agreement, and bouncing ideas were edited down into a two minute long segment for the small screen – but I think that the gist of what was discussed got across, which is the main thing. Filming went by (almost) without a hitch, despite cancelled trains, busy diaries and a near dust-up in the London office between the C4 crew and a Belgian crew who were following Goedele around to film her for a reality show – don’t ask!

The programme itself could not have shown more clearly the crying need for better SRE that talks about much more than basic biology, bugs and babies. The fact that many of the girls in the group had no idea what their own bodies looked like “down there” was saddening, but not surprising – Brook’s Education and Training teams tell many similar stories. It also showed that missing out conversations about consent, pleasure, peer pressure and porn leaves young people confused and lacking the confidence they desperately need.

The difference in behaviour between the young people at the start of the programme and the end was striking. The boys seemed more thoughtful and certainly more aware of consent (it was a peek-through-the-fingers moment earlier on when one of them said that coming on a partner’s face was just a normal part of sex and he didn’t see why he needed to ask permission – this notion was thoroughly dispelled by Goedele and the lesson seemed to sink in). The girls seemed more confident and more empowered (I loved the quote from the girl who said, “I’m not going to take crap off people any more”), and certainly more aware of their right to respect, pleasure, and equality.

Goedele asks the question on all our lips! 

The conversation on Twitter – as shown in this Storify – was overwhelmingly positive. There was a huge amount of disbelief that SRE is not statutory, from many people who had been unaware of that little fact. There was anger that a failure to ensure good, sex positive, comprehensive SRE for every young person leaves them at risk of exploitation, coercion, and abuse. The influence of porn on the class’s views was undeniable – and as Simon often said when CEO of Brook, whatever you think of porn, it’s not the best place for young people to learn about relationships and sex!

Sex In Class was a great reminder (as if we needed one!) of exactly how important the amazing work done by Brook’s Education and Training teams is. While the Government drags its feet over making SRE statutory (seriously, how many reports do we need?!), Brook and similar organisations are out there making a difference to young people’s lives, talking to them in down to earth language about the issues that young people tell us they are desperate to discuss in a safe space, with input from an expert.

The only complaint I have about Sex In Class is that it was a one-off, rather than a series. Every one of the issues Goedele and the class discussed was worthy of its own episode, and it would have been brilliant to see what else was taught – I know that Goedele is also, for example, very keen to make sure that SRE is inclusive of all sexualities and genders, which was a topic that the hour long format didn’t have time to cover. In the meantime, whilst I’m going to keep on campaigning for statutory SRE, I think we have to find other ways to make sure that young people have much better sex and relationships education, to help them make positive choices, and to help them be safe, healthy, happy and unafraid of the future.

— Jules Hillier, Interim Chief Executive, Brook

Handshakes, consent, and mulling things over

By Jules Hillier

Stepping into the shoes of Brook’s former Chief Exec, Simon Blake, is challenging for lots of reasons, but one of them is that I find it virtually impossible to find the time to create the kind of prolific social media presence that he is able to maintain. Simon takes inspiration from his daily life and is able to turn it into a blog/tweet/other kind of post really quickly. I’m very different – I get inspiration but I like to spend a bit of time turning something over in my mind before writing about it. My creative process takes a bit longer. All this is a rather roundabout way of saying that Brook’s blog has been quiet since I became Chief Executive – I’ve been mulling rather than writing – and I’m sorry about that.

Something happened earlier in the week that helped me move from thinking about things to writing about things, so here is my first post as Brook’s Chief Exec. Appropriate, I think, that it should be about consent because I firmly believe that if we all have a better grasp of consent we’ll change people’s lives, relationships and wellbeing much faster and more effectively. 

It’s just possible that some of you don’t know how much I dislike hugging.  I have blogged about it in the past when I had to hug 50 people in 30 days to raise money for Brook* but it still takes people by surprise when they find out that I don’t like it. Trouble with hugs is that they’re big and invasive and really intimate and when someone I don’t know well comes in for a hug, I get all tense inside. Hugging is a socially acceptable greeting to most people and I am well brought up and polite so rather than spending the last 40-odd years yelling, “Get off me! I can’t breathe and you’re in all of my space!” I have simply shut up and given a rather stiff, brief hug in return. For huggers, I can’t have been very pleasant to hug. I guess we’ve all been subjecting ourselves to sub-standard greetings & leavings all that time, which is a bit sad.

Over the years, I’ve thought a lot about this and about the fact that everyone’s boundaries are different. I also think about the fact that despite being a perfectly capable woman in my mid 40s and despite working in sexual health and passionately advocating for better understanding of boundaries and consent for more than 15 years, I have never really exerted my right to ask people not to hug me. I’ve mused that if I find it that uncomfortable to deal with a relatively minor issue of consent, how on earth can we ever help young people really, truly, understand consent and find the skills and capability to negotiate it.

That’s why Wednesday was such a happy day for me. It was the day Justin Hancock, known to many of you simply as Bish, shared his handshake workshop with me and our fellow Sexpression UK Trustees in the pub after our Trustee meeting. The conversation came about because Justin discovered my dislike of hugging a little while ago and, rather than feeling awkward or deciding I had simply misunderstood the hug and could be converted, he actively engaged me in expressing the kind of greeting I would prefer instead. And every time I’ve seen him since, he’s offered me a thoughtful, alternative greeting/leaving gesture that has been far more pleasant than a hug.  When my fellow trustees discovered my aversion to hugging, Justin talked about his workshop and, outside a  Mayfair pub, he ran us through a little demo of how it works.

It was excellent. All of us stopped and thought not only about about our own preferences (and it turns out there are other kinds of greetings that trouble other people, but they often don’t say) but also about the needs of other people and how different to ours they might be. Justin made the very good point that my loathing of the limp handshake could well be a complete misunderstanding of some poor person who simply feels uncomfortable or intimidated by a handshake and I should be much less judgemental. We all stood there mulling over what makes something a mutually satisfying, happy and positive experience.

Everyone should do the handshake workshop and thanks to Justin’s generosity (the details are free on his website), they can. I brought it home with me and it turns out my husband’s a three firm shakes kinda guy, which is at least one more shake than would be my preference, so I also learned something new about someone I’ve known for more than 30 years. 

The very best thing about this workshop is that it helps young people not only to understand what consent is, but also to feel what consent feels like. Perhaps if we can help more young people with that, they’ll learn not only to negotiate and discuss consent, but also to recognise it, not just when it comes to sex, but when it comes to all sorts of meaningful, happy ways of communicating and connecting with each other.  I high-five that. As long as you’re all comfortable with it.

I feel very lucky to work in a field where I regularly come into contact with people devising creative ways to help young people grow learn and develop. We are living through tough times in youth work, education and health and there is so little resource for taking the time to innovate and come up with simple, but brilliant, new things. That’s sad. But probably a topic for another post. Give me a while to mull it over.

*those of you who browse that blog will note that I never finished blogging the pictures. I did finish the challenge, including the pictures, but I struggled with it so much, I lost the will to blog it.

Child sexual exploitation, social norms and social change (Updated 14th December)

I was both surprised and delighted to learn Guerrilla Policy had named this blog as one of their top 10 social care blogs of 2014. I believe passionately that we must realign thinking, feelings, policy and practice: we need to all understand our aims, values and expectations if we are going to reduced and eliminate child sexual exploitation.  As a starter we must have unequivocally high expectations for young people's relationships so they can have high expectations for themselves. 

I cannot imagine there are sensible adults who want to live in a culture in which child sexual exploitation is a new social norm in some or any communities. Yet there are sensible adults who are not doing all they can to make sure we develop a healthy and positive culture about young people, sex and sexuality. Today's important report from Ann Coffey MP Real Voices, into child sexual exploitation (CSE) across Greater Manchester is another reminder of why this has to change.

The report echoes all of the previous evidence including the Office of the Children's Commissioner's inquiry into peer on peer exploitation. It is right for us to be really worried. And if we didn't know already what we have to do, then we do now. It is important to remember that publishing the report is not the task itself - it tells us our task.

The Real Voices report on CSE is very welcome (here's Brook's statement on its publication). It is refreshing to read a report that takes children and young people's views so seriously - unsurprising given the young volunteers from Brook who met Ann to inform the report said that they felt really listened to. Real Voices is pretty grim reading. It reflects our failures to take children and young people seriously and meet our obligations to protect against abuse and exploitation under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. The report includes a wide range of sensible recommendations that national, regional and local policy makers must take heed of, and quickly.

Ann states child sexual exploitation is becoming the new social norm in some communities. This sums up the important task we have yet to grasp effectively. We must never allow CSE to become the new social norm in any community. CSE is deeply rooted in inequalities, misogyny and sexism as well as a cultural lack of trust of young people which manifests itself in systematic abuse and violence.

So we can easily agree we don't want CSE as a new social norm. As a country we are less clear, it seems, about what we do want for young people and setting about working in partnership with young people to establish a culture that realises this ambition.

We are at best ambivalent and more likely downright confused about the social norms we do want for young people's health and social behaviours. Just a month or so ago I read an article reflecting on the positive downward trends in teenage pregnancy, drug and alcohol use amongst young people. Instead of welcoming and rewarding their responsible behaviours it asked whether this generation of young people are boring. How galling that would be if you are 15, 16 or 17?

So then, imagine what it feels like to be a young person growing up in 2014: we condemn them for 'sexting' and chastise them for learning about sex from porn. We wave our hands in despair because young people are supposedly having sex earlier and earlier and teenage pregnancy rates are going through the roof - despite the evidence that neither is true - and when data is published showing HIV infection rates have almost doubled amongst gay men 15-24 years old in the last decade, the news is met with almost universal silence.

Young people tell us what they want from their sex and relationships education decade after decade, and instead of providing it we are still arguing about whether schools must provide good sex and relationships education instead of how. We know young women often feel unsafe and experience disproportionate violence and exploitation and we don't do nearly enough to address the systemic inequalities that enable that to happen.

Ann Coffey's report emphasises the importance of listening to the real and lived experiences of children and young people. That requires us to trust them and value them. That requires significant culture change. We must stop messing about, name and call out the behaviours, the incoherent policy, failures to invest early enough and the lack of action that let all young people down. It is our collective responsibility to do all we can to tackle the inequalities that breed all types of violence, as well as provide extra protection to those who experience particular vulnerability to abuse and exploitation such as children in care.

If we are to make the rhetoric of Ann Coffey's report a reality, we will have to accept CSE is not isolated to one or two cities, and we have to recognise that just talking about it isn't enough. We will need to ensure that there is proper investment in early intervention and prevention, good quality education, targeted support and sexual health services, despite the financial landscape. The economic and social costs of not tackling the root causes of child sexual exploitation are too high for the young people involved and for society as a whole.

If we are to make the change we all want we must trust young people, value their sexuality, understand healthy sexual development, and address the root causes of violence. This report is yet another reminder that it is time for us to grow up and adopt a no nonsense approach to supporting young people and their developing sexuality, and a no excuses approach to violence and exploitation that at Brook we know will deliver results.

Guest Blog from Rianna the Founder of Shine Aloud

This is a guest blog by Rianna Raymond-Williams who set up Shine ALOUD. 

I always knew I wanted to be writer, but after countless work experiences and placements in the media industry, I couldn’t find myself just settling for one publication. From beauty to celebrity news, finance to politics, art and album reviews, I had done it all, but I still wasn’t happy. My experience working for the Terrence Higgins Trust as a Sexual Health Assistant highlighted to me that there was a problem amongst young people when it came to sexual health. Not only were the young people I engaged with misinformed about the facts, but simply discussing partners and relationships made them feel uncomfortable, which for me was a huge light bulb moment! I would often find publications on sex and relationships too formal, biological and overall boring. They were not age appropriate or young people friendly which for me, as a young person myself, was very disengaging! I wanted something that was educationally compelling yet fun and interactive.

I started Shine ALOUD magazine on an internship in 2011, I approached the editor of the publication I was interning at with my idea and he was very supportive in helping me to create a flat plan for the magazine. The flat plan helped me to think about what articles would be in Shine ALOUD, who the target audience would be and overall, it lead me to think about what I wanted people to gain from engaging in the publication.

With a £300 O2 Think Big Grant, article and artwork contributions from close friends and journalism student and of course a helping hand in design from a media colleague of mine, Shine ALOUD was created. Initially, I hadn’t thought beyond the first issue, it was simply just a mini project I had started before my second year of university began, but the response and feedback I got from readers after the first issue showed me it was a much needed resource.

I continued to release Shine ALOUD on a quarterly basis through 2011 – 2012 whereby I began to create partnership with various sexual health promotion companies and charities, youth empowerment organisation and youth media enterprise across London. Shine ALOUD quickly became a sexual health publication for young people, by young, with the aim of educating and entertain youth about sex and relationships combined with arts and culture. I received cash injection and business support from Zeon Richards, The Alec Dickinson Trust, Starbucks Youth in Action, Business in the Community and most recently Lloyds Banking Group, as a result of me enrolling on the Start Up Programme with The School for Social Entrepreneurs which I am currently on.

Thankfully Shine ALOUD has attracted an audience of over 28,000 people, all of whom are avid readers and followers of, which for me is a demonstration of its need and want in the community! My plans for the future are to make Shine ALOUD an international social enterprise.

Firstly, by producing a sexual health publication regionally across the country, thereby allowing young people to gain skills in media through creating and producing a quarterly publication, in addition to maintaining a virtual online website. Secondly, I hope to deliver sexual health awareness workshops across youth provisions and in and around the community, thereby allowing young people to gain qualifications in sexual health awareness and youth work, providing them with the opportunity to gain transferable skills for the working work and further develop as professionals.

And lastly to embark on cultural exchanges with young people overseas, providing education to those who most need it across the globe, thereby allowing young people to meet other young people internationally and discuss how and why sexual health agendas differ. Shine ALOUD aims to empower young people to make informed choices regarding sex and relationships.

Shine ALOUD – Sex & Relationships with a different tone! Rianna is now running a crowd funding campaign to raise money to take Shine ALOUD further. To support her on her journey of raising £10,000 follow the link below: Shine ALOUD UK: The Sexual Empowerment of Young People! (http://igg.me/at/FundShineALOUDUK/) 

Tackling bullying needs deep rooted culture change

The last few weeks we have seen rotten and thoroughly unacceptable online behaviour with sadly tragic consequences.

Our timelines have been filled with untold horrors including evidence of rape threats, death and bomb threats, sexual violence and extreme online bullying. My thoughts of course go out to the individuals and families who are dealing with threats of violence, with violence and with deaths of loved ones.

Against that backdrop there is, it seems, a welcome and important change afoot based on a reawakened realisation that misogyny and bullying is alive, well and kicking, and a collective determination to do something about it. This time the media focus is on behaviours displayed online. Important though it is to find cyber-solutions, let us remember bad behaviour is not new to our era. There are many examples of 'off line trolling' such as the protesters at the funeral of 21 year old man Matthew Shepard who was brutally murdered. Despicably anti gay protesters turned up with banners showing 'Matt in Hell and No Fags in Heaven'.

Technological solutions of course play an important part. Like 'porn filters' technology cannot provide the whole answer. I agree wholeheartedly with Mr Cameron, sites must step up to the plate and do all they reasonably can to ensure online bullying does not happen, and where it does they must tackle it. I also agree that parents and children must have much more discussion about online activity, and to be able to seek help and support when they need to.

There is of course an insidious problem with online behaviour – many parents and professionals feel flummoxed about what to do to tackle online behaviours. We mustn't. Just like our off line lives we can and must nurture the courage, confidence and skills to shut down, disable accounts and walk away.

Of course people are looking for the tough response. Calling for a site to shut down is a tough response. Deep down however, do we believe it will fully achieve the change we need to see? If somebody I loved was hurt online I would want to shut down the site too. But that doesn't make it a cure-all response that will create the right results. Imagine if we shut down every school, college, university and workplace where serious bullying takes place. However, like schools and other institutions, the online sites must respond proactively to tackle bullying.

So the task is much more fundamental and much bigger than closing down a site now and another next month – it is one that challenges the way we live and changes our cultural and social norms. It requires a willingness and desire to live side by side with people the same and different from us and sustained coherent public policy which supports that goal. It requires cultural and societal change from the very top which determines that bullying, violence and prejudice in all its forms including misogyny and homophobia is completely unacceptable on or off line. Always and without argument these cannot be tolerated whether in our parliamentary chambers, our primary school playgrounds or our social networking sites.

And that requires considerable changes to what we teach children and young people – not just about online safety and cyber bullying – but about structural inequalities and the nature and abuse of power, about prejudice and bullying, respect and consent. It also requires us all to learn to manage conflict, its importance for fulfilling lives and how to respond and manage it well and where to go for help and support.

That education is a job for all. It must be at home, at school and in the community – in our churches, our youth clubs and voluntary youth provision. That is why again I would have liked Mr Cameron to focus on the role of education too. Wouldn't it have been fantastic if he had said today: "Until now we have got it wrong on PSHE education. It’s time for change and time to make sure every child in every school gets excellent Personal, Social, Health and Economic education that prepares them to manage their lives on and off line both now and in the future. I want to make sure every child and young person receives PSHE education that has equality at its heart, ensures children and young people know bullying and prejudice is always wrong, and that help is always available however big or little an issue seems."

In the end it comes down to this – our best tool for change is positive education that creates new norms. Yes we must demand that social networking sites do all they can and be accountable for doing all they can. We must expect investment in technological solutions so they do all they can. But violence and bullying is done by people and we must recognise technological solutions will not be able to compensate for the attitudes that leads to bullying behaviour. 

We cannot continue to only react when things go wrong and lives are lost – we must make active steps to prevent this from happening. And we must not continue to condemn young people for unacceptable behaviour and bullying without investing the time, energy and money to help young people lead the way in creating positive social norms and pro-social behaviours.

There is now a wasted opportunity – the new National Curriculum consultation closes today, as it currently stands it will not ensure all children and young people get good quality PSHE education which will help them develop the skills, personal qualities and behaviours to manage their on and off line lives. 

Against this backdrop of extreme concern we must also remember that overall the Internet is a positive force for good. Everyday it provides vital advice, information and support for all children and young people – including those who are being bullied such as that provided by www.brook.org.uk, www.thesite.org and Beat Bullying's cyber mentors http://www.beatbullying.org/. A group of young people I talked to earlier this week were also keen to remind me that most young people are 'fairly nice' and do not bully and hurt others. Even in hard and emotional times we must remember this, while working together to change the behaviour of those who engage in bullying behaviour, and giving help and ensure the best support to those who are targeted.

Pornography, young people, safeguarding and education

Over the weekend there has been significant press reporting about child sexual abuse images and online pornography. Yesterday David Cameron announced there will be new legislation making 'rape pornography' illegal. Beyond the accusations of censorship and an industry reluctant to engage, the realities are more subtle, the challenges more complex and the need for good education more acute.

You can read the full speech online here: http://www.conservatives.com/News/Speeches/2013/07/The_Prime_Ministers_speech_on_protecting_our_children_online.aspx.

All of us, as sensible citizens would agree that child sexual images on the Internet are abuse. All efforts to tackle this form of abuse, like all other forms of abuse must be addressed. It is my experience that politicians, young people, parents, police, children's services and industry agree on this. 

The more difficult challenge is understanding how best to protect children and young people from the pernicious effects of online pornography that they don't want to access, whilst recognising that technological solutions – filters – trying to do this may also prevent young people accessing vital information online that is both educational and/or advice and support for those experiencing difficulty.

Brook, and other youth agencies have already experienced being 'blocked' in the past because our content has been deemed unacceptable.  As a result our site has been placed on a 'black list' by a machine sometimes taking a long time to unblock, and young people not receiving vital information whilst this takes weeks to resolve. Solutions must be proportionate. Efforts to protect young people from harm must not create more harm than good through unintended impact.

Mr Cameron’s speech did make reference to some of the points I highlight in this blog post, and I am emphasising where extra special care has to be taken.

Some of those unintended impacts are a narrative that all pornography is bad, and all viewing of pornography leads to harm. The evidence is less clear than this. Our experience at Brook is that pornography is undoubtedly part of an increasing source of education for young people. That is worrying in the absence of trusted, reliable sources of education – parents, schools, youth and community organisations. See this article from WAtoday (Western Australia's news website) which highlights research on the impact of the lack of sex and relationships education and driving young people to look online and at pornography for information about what sex is like: http://www.watoday.com.au/wa-news/porn-becoming-substitute-for-sex-education-20130719-2q9e7.html. And we also know from our experience at Brook that most young people can distinguish between the fantasy as provided by pornography and the reality of real life relationships. It is our job to make sure they do.

The second unintended impact is a narrative that depicts technology as bad and largely ignores the positive benefits, including the fact that young people access tremendous amounts of information, advice and support via the Internet that can often quite literally be a life saver. 
 
Technology is of course expected to provide the solution and the answer. Yet we know that it can't and it won't alone. And that is why I worry that in all this tough on industry rhetoric there isn't a stronger accompanying message which emphasises the important role of education. The important role of parents, of schools and of communities in teaching about online safety, and about using the Internet well to benefit from all the brilliant help and advice it can offer.
 
Much more emphasis could be placed on school based sex and relationships education as part of the solution - a universal entitlement that forms part of our duty to safeguard, protect and empower young people. So my advice to Mr Cameron is be tough on industry yes, and please work with them to use their capabilities and resources well. I would also advise him to demonstrate he will do all he can by being tough on his Ministry for Education as they conclude their National Curriculum consultation which closes on 8 August. The PSHE Association has written to Ministers with recommendations about how to reflect a strong commitment to PSHE as evidenced in documents from Home Office, DH and indeed DfE.
 
A simple statement in the National Curriculum from government about the vital role of PSHE in protecting children and young people such as the one below could be a game changer and demonstrate he means business – 'It is expected that all schools will deliver Personal,  Social, Health, and Economic education to meet the statutory requirements to support children and young people's spiritual, moral, social and cultural development and to prepare children and young people to live, grow and learn in an ever changing, fast paced and technologically driven global economy.'
 
I know any action to improve school based sex and relationships education coupled with technological solutions and support for parents will be supported by the absolute majority including organisations such as MumsNet, the Office of the Children's Commissioner, the PSHE Association, the End Violence Against Women Coalition and the Sex Education Forum.
 
Finally, my advice would be make sure the organisations who work with children AND young people are involved – and be clear with different age groups come different realities – and most importantly ensure young people's views constantly drive government thinking and policy proposals. We know at Brook they have a lot of ideas and thoughts about online pornography – some similar and some more nuanced because they are living their lives now. The quote below from a young person involved with Brook shows just how much they have to offer:
 
“…I think instead of stopping young people watching porn, it is an inevtiabilty which will occur. I think the focus of the debate should be around teachig young people, the differences between porn and reality, so that this doesn't give off unrealistic images to younger people about how they should look or act sexually, there should be emphasis on teaching the rights and wrongs of vewing different types of porn.”

Let’s banish Section 28 forever

A week or so ago I tweeted about the dreadful Section 28. I fully understand why Section 28 is being talked about so much in the wake of Lady Thatcher's death and like most sensible people I want it to RIP. This year, even before Thatcher’s' death, the Equal Marriage legislation had brought Section 28 back into the public conscience – with some absurd parliamentarians remarkably wanting a new version for the 21st Century. Unthinkable and despicable.

Section 28 was homophobic, evil, pernicious and unworkable poor legislation – it was unworkable because it never applied to schools who were and continue to be responsible for sex education. But it had an enormous impact nonetheless. And those who introduced, supported and tried to uphold it should be ashamed. I was 13 in 1987, and I was growing up gay in North Cornwall. Like many others in my school I could have done with someone saying 'being gay is alright, you're not the only one, you are safe here and you can lead a happy, fulfilling life.'

The silence in the classroom and the relentless taunting and bullying of those perceived to be gay in the playground (including one or two teachers perceived to be gay) taught me quite the opposite. That said, I don't think Section 28 made any substantive difference to our sex education. It consisted of a video about 'intercourse' that is probably the source of some of my squeamishness now. I can only remember one sentence of any use – 'don't worry boys you can't come when you are going and you can't go when you are coming.' Not one of us – gay, straight or otherwise – could have left our sex ed armed with the useful information required ready to enjoy the trials and tribulations of our young desires reassured and happy.

But that appalling, but at least equitable, standard of sex education doesn't make me any less angry that politicians, the media and many people in society thought Section 28 was acceptable – not least in the face of AIDS which was just taking its ugly, devastating foothold within the gay community. (It would be too easy here to overlook the single good thing that did come out of Section 28 – Stonewall who have succeeded in positively influencing so much legislation, policy and practise in all areas of gay life – I am grateful to the brave individuals who set up the group, and the continuing work they do now in the UK and overseas).

Over the last fifteen years or so the UK has made terrific progress in tackling homophobia in schools and wider society. First we recognised the problem existed and started to face up to it. Then we equalised the age of consent and repealed Section 28. At the same time government took decisive action to address bullying of all sorts which eventually came to explicitly include homophobic bullying.

But sex and relationships education remains patchy, and sexuality is still too often invisible within schools. For some, Section 28 still creates confusion and concern. In the worst of cases Section 28 still legitimises homophobia and allows school leaders and teachers to be silent about sexuality and perpetuate their own unwelcome prejudice. In reality the number of teachers and school leaders who genuinely think Section 28 applies to schools is reducing rapidly. It was repealed a long time ago and many newer teachers haven't even heard of it.

But some still have and that’s the tricky problem. Like all myths and misinformation you do sometimes have to talk about them openly to correct them: and then by talking about them you help keep the myth and its possible impact alive. As an aside it is interesting that I cannot remember in recent times hearing anyone say the age of consent used to be unequal. Rarely do I see much information about the age of consent as it was prior to 2000 (when it was finally equalised at 16 in Great Britain).

Up until a few years ago I trained teachers regularly. When talking about sex education and the law I used to include reference to Section 28 to be clear it was ok to talk about homosexuality. Ironically many newer teachers would hear about Section 28 for the first time on that course and it would create fear. Despite all my words of reassurance that it didn't and had never applied to schools, and that it was no longer statute anyway I know from feedback that it frightened some.

So I decided to stop talking about Section 28 unless specifically asked what it was and I stopped referring to it in any guidance I was writing. Instead I made sure I only included the positive and helpful statements that affirmed the importance of teaching about sexuality – such as the very helpful and positive equal opportunities statement at the beginning of the national curriculum, and the sections of the SRE guidance which are clear prejudice is unacceptable and gay children must be supported. That seemed to work and instil confidence rather than fear.

So Section 28 is officially dead and has been for over ten years. Sadly we know from our work at Brook, and that of Diversity Role Models, Stonewall and others that homophobic bullying is alive, well, and in some cases thriving in our schools. There was however some good news last year in Stonewall's school report showing that some progress is being made in tackling homophobia in schools. There is of course so much more to do to support teachers, change cultures and ensure all children and young people regardless of gender and sexuality are safe and nurtured in all schools, including those 'with religious character.'

Only last week Brook and FPA had feedback from qualitative research commissioned in Further Education settings where young LGBT people said that their sex and relationships education can seem irrelevant and only targeted at heterosexual young people – their message was clear – unless we are actively and explicitly inclusive of different sexualities and identities they will often feel excluded and disengaged. Evidence has shown the same is true of resources and services – unless they say they are for people with all different identities there is an implicit assumption that the service, leaflet or website is not for diverse groups of young people. Almost 20 years ago in Sheffield they produced wallet sized cards advertising services that said Young Gay People welcome, and they found an increase in the numbers of young people identifying as gay attended the services.

So my conclusion is it's time to stop talking about Section 28 as much as possible so its legacy does not destroy the confidence of another generation of teachers to talk about different sexualities in the classroom with confidence, and hijack another generation of children and young people's education and ultimately their safety and happiness.

Successive governments have shamefully ignored expert advice, the consensus and evidence about PSHE and wasted the opportunity to ensure PSHE makes a positive contribution to reducing homophobia and celebrating equality and diversity. And after the publication of the PSHE review we now know there isn't going to be new sex and relationships education guidance from government so it's down to schools, charities, experts, unions and determined individuals. Despite all the challenges there is much wider support for the work to promote positive sexual identities and reduce homophobia – there is a consensus that we need to make schools safe for all children even if there isn't always the skill, expertise and priority afforded to the issue.

Stonewall have some excellent resources for use in the classroom and support for schools which you can find out more about at www.stonewall.org.uk.

Diversity Role Models takes LGBT role models into school and provides workshops. For more information visit www.diversityrolemodels.org.
Finally last year a group of young volunteers at Brook developed a leaflet called Learn your LGBT ABC because they wanted a resource that could help young people understand that sexuality is diverse, life affirming and individual, not a label, a problem or a veritable political football. It’s a useful positive and affirming resource to trigger discussions. You can find out more about how to order the leaflet at www.brook.org.uk.

I have also just finished reading Maggie and Me by Damian Barr. I recommend it to you.

Follow on Twitter: @simonablake @BrookCharity @BeSexPositive

What’s in a name?

About 10 years ago, I went on a sex education study tour to the United States. At that time, the debate about Sex and Relationships Education (SRE) was far more polarised in the States than back at home and I spent time with both the pro and anti SRE lobbies. One of the most striking things I noticed was how important, and fascinating, the language both sides used was in framing the debate. Those who supported SRE had created a new name for it – ‘comprehensive sexuality education’ - this was to counteract the opposition who had started to claim that abstinence education was a form of sex education.

Ever since that study tour I have been a bit more of a pedant about the language we use when talking about sexual and reproductive rights. So over the last few weeks, I have considered carefully the way we talk about our views of abortion. Following Mr Hunt’s statement about reducing the time limit to 12 weeks (and Mr Cameron’s swift reassurance that that government had no intention of changing it) there has been some truly exceptional journalism. It has been full of empathy and trust for women and their circumstances and for the health professionals who help women through their decision making processes and beyond.

But I have looked carefully at everyone’s language and I have decided it’s time to make some changes.

For a start, I am pro-life, in the true meaning of the word. I like life, I like living and I want my fellow citizens to enjoy life and enjoy living.  Life is a wonderful thing and I am therefore completely pro-life.

I am also pro-choice, and I am pro-abortion.  Pro-choice speaks for itself but, just to be absolutely clear, I believe that women should have the autonomy to make their choices within the framework of the law, and I think the law should reflect medical opinion and the evidence on both the time limit - which is 24 weeks in the UK - and on patient experience and safety. This means I think the UK could improve women’s access to abortion through, for example, home use of early medical abortion.  My pro-choice beliefs extend to respecting people’s right to not want an abortion and to disagree with it.

I am pro-abortion. This does not mean I believe that I want everyone to have one (though I am often accused of that view). It means that because I believe in choice, I should support abortion in those circumstances it is chosen. Some people shy away from calling themselves pro-abortion.  I am not of their number.

So if I am embracing the terms ‘pro-life’, ‘pro-choice’ and ‘pro-abortion’, what language should we use to describe people who believe that abortion is wrong for them AND for everybody else and that it has no place in a civil society?  How do we describe those people who believe it is right to provide false information about abortion and pregnancy to children and to harass women outside services? It’s not enough to say ‘anti-abortion’ because there is much more to their beliefs and behaviours than that. I haven’t found a short and snappy term yet, but I have an accurate one. They are “people who are ideologically opposed to safe and legal abortion in all or all but the most extreme circumstances (extreme circumstances dictated by their view, not the woman’s)”.  I’m not sure it’ll catch on.

I also think it would be helpful to remove the terms ‘early’ and ‘late’ from the language when it comes to abortion. We can simply say medical abortion, surgical abortion, first trimester, up to 13 weeks, between 20 and 24 weeks.  None of it makes our sentences shorter, but the terms ‘early’ and ‘late’, are a little like ‘innocent’ and ‘guilty’ in that they carry a sense of judgment. There is no room to be judgmental when it comes to a woman’s right to choose.

Of course, none of these musings on language will change anybody’s position on abortion, but using the right language at least means that discussion can be had from a position of understanding, and from a position of accuracy.  Pro-life does not accurately describe people who are opposed to legal abortion.  It positions the pro-choice majority in a particular place. Pro-choice is accurate for many people, and none of us who support choice should be afraid to say that we are pro legal abortion.

Ultimately, the other thing missing from the debate is that if all of us can agree that preventing abortions when possible is a laudable aim then good quality sex and relationships education as defined by the Sex Education Forum and access to contraceptive services that provide choice are absolutely vital. But the language of those issues is for another time.

This blog is also included on the 40 Days of Choice blog
You can follow 40 Days of Choice on Twitter @40DaysofChoice

Relationships and sex education: a drop of 25% in teenage pregnancy rates over 10 years, that's progress

There was an article published in the Daily Mail at the weekend stating that sex education has had little impact on teenage pregnancy rates over the past 40 years.

In fact the statistics confirm what those of us who work in sexual health or with young people already know that teenagers are less likely to get pregnant now than they were 40 years ago, and looking at the statistics from 1998 when the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy was launched there is a clear decline in rates. Between 1998 and 2010, the conception rate for under 16s has fallen by 22%, and the rate for under 18s has fallen by 25%.

The Teenage Pregnancy Strategy focused on and highlighted the good work being done, and means that we are clear about what works to improve young people's sexual health and wellbeing; improving access to sexual health services, an open and accepting attitude toward teenage sexuality; good quality sex and relationships education in school and the community; and supporting parents to talk to their children about relationships.

We know how to reduce rates of unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections, and we need to get on with making that happen consistently across the UK.

You can read Brook’s factsheet on the teenage pregnancy rates online here.

Guest blog post by Kay Rundle, Brook Cornwall Centre Director

We recently welcomed local MP Stephen Gilbert to visit the Brook Newquay service. Stephen has been really supportive of Brook Cornwall and has spoken up in Parliament about the importance of high quality sex and relationship education (SRE) so it was a great opportunity to show him around a service and talk more about the work we do with the young people of St Austell and Newquay.

After the requisite tour of Brook Newquay we talked to Stephen about the key issues in sexual health at the moment; namely, the current provision of sexual health services and the challenges in providing sexual health services that are easily accessible for all young people.

Stephen was really interested in how he can support Brook Cornwall and Brook nationally to improve SRE for young people. As Brook’s recent report Sex and Relationships Education fit for the 21st century; found nearly half of secondary school pupils say that SRE doesn’t cover what they really need to know about sex and clearly that needs to change.

So, thank you Stephen for taking time to visit the service and for being such a great supporter of Brook Cornwall.

Kay

Scout Association - new sex and relationships programme and resource

Today the Scout Association launched a national relationships and sexual health programme, My body, my choice, and published a resource for Scout Leaders plus a handout for young people.

Local leaders will run the programme aimed at Explorer Scouts (aged between 14-18). Brook really welcomes the initiative and the introduction of this type of no nonsense material, and commend the Chief Scout Bear Grylls for being so supportive of this important area.

The resource provides guidance for leaders on how to approach sex and relationships issues, as well as activities and games to help young people to think about various issues.

The material is clear and simple and is exactly the type of information young people tell us they need to help them understand how their bodies work and to help them make informed decisions about these matters.

You can find out more about the resource here.

-------------------------------------------------- Help us create a sex:positive society - pledge your support (free, quick and very easy) at http://www.sexpositive.org.uk/. Follow us on twitter @simonablake @brookcharity @BeSexPositive. Facebook - BrookCharity

Let's hear it for the boys - SRE and services must meet their needs

Today Children and Young People Now published an article about the importance of meeting the sexual health needs of boys and young men. In it they mentioned new guidance published by Brook - Young Men, sex and pregnancy. You can read the article here http://bit.ly/hP9KSI

Young men, sex and pregnancy commissioned by the Teenage Pregnancy Unit sets the context of a growing realisation that sexual health services and sex and relationships education generally haven't served the needs of boys and young men as well as they should.

The guidance provides a summary of the evidence relating to young men and sexual health, the views of workers and young men themselves; it also sets out 16 core elements which help in supporting and engaging boys. The most obvious is that we must like and trust young men, adopting a positive approach which is aspirational - and addresses the issues they want to learn about, setting high expectations for young men so they have high expectations for themselves and their relationships.

It sets out the importance of considering the needs of boys on the basis of varying attitudes and behaviours and proposes 5 tiers of activity that will help meet the needs of all boys. It concludes with some advice on evaluation and proving effectiveness, and four detailed case studies. Details about the guidance can be found here http://bit.ly/eyIFiU

Katy Perry - Firework

I have been a bit slow to realise what Katy Perry's single 'firework' on her album Teenage Dream is about - when my partner was watching the video tonight on You Tube, I realised that the lyrics and video could be a great resource for working with young people about individuality, confidence and self-esteem.

The link to the video on You Tube is here http://bit.ly/eT0LBQ and the link to the lyrics is here

http://bit.ly/g8YItr

Youth parliament talking about sex and relationships education

Nothing more needs to be said from me, it just has to be time to listen......

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00vmvk4/UK_Youth_Parliament_Debates_2010_29_10_2010/

A long couple of weeks at party conference

Anyone who remembers freshers week, or their first holiday with friends, and the extreme fatigue one has at the end of the week will empathise with how I felt climbing into my bed when I got home from the Conservative Party conference earlier this week knowing that the party conference season was over for another year.

The good news is there were reassuring noises being made at the Tories about the importance of sex and relationships education for children and young people, and about the inclusion of sexual health as part of the public health service (white paper to be published this year). Of course we must now all be working hard to ensure the translation of these reassuring noises into policy and practical delivery - and particularly in the context of the Public Health White Paper we must not lose sight of the fact that sexual health is about more than sexually transmitted infections - contraception and abortion services, underpinned by a sex positive approach are an integral part of a successful public health approach.

Sexualisation of young people, particularly via new media and phone technologies was a heated area of debate and discussion in the bar - clearly a vital area that we must be on top of. Of course young people need to know and understand the legal context and the social and personal impact of sharing their own pictures willingly (now), or distributing pictures/stories of others. When thinking about the challenges technological developments present we must keep this in context and our wits firmly around us. Using text, the web and other new media is for some a consenting act and for others a new mode of an age old problem - sexual harassment and sexual bullying.

If you are interested in thinking more about the issues, here are links to a documentary and an article in the Times Educational Supplement on the issue of sex, pornography and new media. I was interviewed for both of these.

- Weblink to Radio 4 documentary ‘Sex, porn and teenagers’: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00v1nkx

- Times Education Supplement, 1 October 2010: http://www.tes.co.uk/article.aspx?storycode=6059641

Youth Parliament survey on their priorities

The UK Youth Parliament will be discussing their lobbying priorities in the coming weeks. To help them they have done a survey monkey which sets out a range of options. They are asking 11 - 18 year olds to vote on their choices in the survey monkey below. Sex education is one of the options. Please forward the link to anyone you know and ask them to fill out the survey.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/S9JHWL9

Sex and relationships education

So another Ofsted report today shows that young people are still not getting good enough sex and relationships education. A timely reminder for the new government that it is not working leaving it up to individual schools and reinforces the importance of making it statutory so we can develop a system which trains and supports teachers so they can feel confident in their skills to teach and avoid the embarrassment which leads to clumsy, boring lessons for young people.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/teachers-embarrassed-over-sex-lessons-2033654.html

Whatever happened to our hope of statutory sex and relationships education

I woke up this morning feeling perky, hopeful that sex and relationships education would make it through the 'legislative wash up' and become statutory in all state funded schools. So imagine my disdain and concern when I found out earlier today the clauses to make sex and relationships education statutory in the Children, Schools and Families Bill have been dropped over the parental right of withdrawal.

I was hopeful with good cause I think - we have loads of evidence about the importance of SRE in preventing teenage pregnancy and improving young lives and there is a strong broad consensus amongst children, parents and professionals that it is important in helping keep children safe from harm.

This section of the Children, Schools and Families Bill must not be allowed to fall at the last hurdle. Regardless of the politics we must hang our heads in shame if we let down another generation of children and young people by failing to ensure sex and relationships education is statutory in every school.

It is inconceivable that more young people could be allowed to experience the shame, fear and embarrassment about sex and their bodies that we see at Brook clinics every single day. Sex and relationships education is vital to protect children and young people from harm and enables them to enjoy their relationships safely. It is right and moral that schools provide it to complement and supplement what children are taught at home or to fill the gap if they are not.

The link to Brook’s full statement is here:

A day to be pleased with

Today the Office for National Statistics released the latest teenage pregnancy data for 2008 and Ed Balls, Secretary of State for Children, Schools and Families, announced the continuation of the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy in England.

Since 1998 teenage pregnancy rates for under 18s have reduced by 13.3% to 40.4 per 1,000 for 2008. This is good news and we now need to continue doing what we know works; improving access to sexual health services, good quality sex and relationships education in school and the community and supporting parents to talk to their children about relationships.

I really welcome the refresh of the Teenage Pregnancy Strategy and the renewed commitment to young people’s sexual health. There is some excellent work taking place in some areas and what we need to do now is to learn from those areas who have seen the biggest decreases and make that excellent work the standard for all teenage pregnancy programmes.

Yesterday the Children, Schools and Families Bill which includes making Personal, Social, Health and Economic (PSHE) Education statutory completed its report stage and third reading in the House of Commons.

We eagerly await its progress through the House of Lords and the Bill receiving Royal Assent before it becomes law. Making PSHE Education statutory will provide a clear framework and ensure that it will be inclusive of every child and young person combining legal/civil rights, health, and cultural and religious perspectives.

Every day at Brook we see young people whose education about relationships and sex has not been good enough. For too long young people have been saying that the sex education they receive is too little, too late and too biological because schools are only required to teach what is in the science curriculum. Statutory PSHE will mean that all children and young people will receive the education and information they are entitled to.