Building confidence in sexual health services - excellent work in Jersey

This weekend myself and a trustee Nicky Trimboy visited Brook in Jersey to meet the director, Chair and another trustee from Jersey to review their successes and current challenges and how well we are all working together in the Brook Network.

We were incredibly impressed with lots of things including the way Brook using PQASSO our quality assurance system to really improve the way they work on an ongoing basis. We were also excited that all year 10 pupils (age 14/15) on Jersey get a school trip to Brook to find out what we do at Brook and what happens if they visit.

The impact of this was evident at Jersey Live Music Festival which we spent some time at afterwards. Two of the Ask Brook team were doing a brilliant job at the stand giving out information about sexual health and safer sex, providing condoms and teaching people how to use them, and telling people about the Brook service in Jersey. They also asked visitors to the stand who came in their hundreds whether they knew about Brook. Lots of them did and a common reply was ‘I went there on the school trip’. Lots of the young people talked about how great the staff were, and one young woman said she hoped she was rich enough to be able to give Brook lots of money because they had been such a help to her so many times.

Imagine how amazing it would be and how much we could improve the confidence of young people in accessing services if all year 10 pupils in every school got a trip to their nearest contraceptive and sexual health service, and when they got there everyone was respectful to them.

It's like a rubber cock.....

said Jon talking about a packer which emulates male genitalia in 'the boy who was born a girl' on Channel 4 tonight. Jon is 16 and was born Natasha. He has gender dysphoria and is undergoing testosterone therapy to trigger male puberty.

Three things are really striking in the programme;

the maturity of Jon, how resilient he is and how much he deserves to experience happiness and to be comfortable in his body

how supportive his mother is and how she takes responsibility for her own emotions which are sometimes diametrically opposed to Jons' and remains completely supportive and proud of Jon

the outstanding ability of people to be cruel and hurt others who are different and the urgent need to create a culture in the UK where bullying and discrimination in schools and communities is unacceptable.

If you didn't see it, get onto the internet and watch it, it is an honest and important documentary that tells the story so far of Jon - one transgender young person - and there are many more without the confidence or support to get help, support and treatment. Only if we break the taboo and stop the silence will we ensure young people born with gender dysphoria get the help and treatment to be happy in their own skin.

Taking sexual health to the festivals

Festivals are an important part of the summer circuit. And alcohol and sex are part of the mix for many festival goers.

On March 6th I wrote about the excellent performance of PJ, one of Brook's young ambassador with Remiidy and Kris at the Brook awards with their song 'Use a Condom'.

This weekend they took it to a wider audience performing live on stage at the Reading Festival. When I saw PJ today he said the performance went very well and that people were coming to the front and taking the free condoms.

At the same time a team from Brook alongside Leeds and Bradford Primary Care Trusts' were working at Leeds Festival providing condoms, emergency contraception, chlamydia screening and information to young people. And the week before a team were at the V festival taking sexual health out to where young people are. This weekend Brook will be at Jersey Live Festival.

We are pleased with the feedback, pleased with the take up of sexual health information, condoms, chlamydia screening and emergency contraception and believe we provided a useful resource for young people and will be looking at how we can have a presence at some of the festivals again next year.

NSPCC report on sexual violence

Sexual bullying and sexual violence has become an increasing policy and practice concern. And the NSPCC today launched an interesting report about the experience of teenage girls in relationships that adds to the evidence as to why this must be a concern. The research, a study of almost 1400 13 - 17 year olds shows that a third of teenage girls suffer unwanted sexual acts in a relationship and a quarter physical violence.

The survey of 13 to 17-year-olds found that nearly nine out of ten girls had been in an intimate relationship. Of these, one in six said they had been pressured into sexual intercourse and 1 in 16 said they had been raped. Others had been pressured or forced to kiss or sexually touch. In addition quarter of girls had suffered physical violence such as being slapped, punched, or beaten by their boyfriends.

Nearly nine out of ten boys also said they had been in a relationship. A smaller number reported pressure or violence from girls. (Only one in seventeen boys in a relationship reported being pressured or forced into sexual activity and almost one in five suffered physical violence in a relationship).

Girls were much more likely to find this behaviour harmful - more than three in every four compared to one in ten boys. Girls also reported that they suffered more repeatedly in relationships and at a younger age.

Sian, one of the girls interviewed for the research, said: "I only went out with him for a week. And then because I didn't want to have sex he just started picking on me and hitting me."

Having an older boyfriend was found to put girls at a higher risk, with three-quarters of them saying they had been victims. Girls from a family where an adult had been violent towards them, one of their parents, or siblings, were also at greater risk.

For boys, having a violent group of friends made it more likely that they would be a victim, or be violent themselves, in a relationship.

Bobby, one of the boys interviewed for the report, said: "I think there's probably more pressure on boys, but if a girl goes out with a lot of people she's called a 'slut' or a 'slag' or something, but if it's a boy he's just one of the lads if he

I have yet to read the full report, but it is clear from what i have read so far that sexual violence is a really important issue and that gender plays a really significant part in the way young people understand and navigate their sexual relationships.

That is why Brook's annual conference on March 4th 2010 is focusing on gender. To find out more about the conference BoyGirlManWoman - putting gender at the heart of sexual health and teenage pregnancy work email events@brook.org.uk

Stroke my face (and X factor)

I had a surprising moment in Marks and Spencers last week. It surprised me anyway. I was getting some food for my train journey. My next train wasn't due to leave for 30 minutes as I had just missed one, the sun was shining and I was feeling happy. It was obvious the woman behind me in the queue was in a rush and so I ushered her to go in front of me. As she went past, she stroked my face and said something along the lines of 'aren't you gorgeous and lovely too, thank you sweetheart'.

I felt myself recoil at the touch and blush badly at the compliment. I also regressed in feelings to that age where people feel it necessary to say 'how much he has grown; what gorgeous eyes he has etc' as though you are not stood there. At the same time it generated that nice warm feeling that being appreciated creates.

It is not very often in my experience that strangers touch someone, or get touched in that way. I am not sure that I want it to happen again too soon, but I admire the woman for taking 'the risk' and showing her appreciation.

And I am just watching the first episode of X factor which i recorded on Saturday night. Some courses in self awareness could be beneficial for some of the contestants.

That holiday feeling

I have just been on two weeks leave - visiting Brighton, Edinburgh and Cornwall. I have taken great pleasure over the last few weeks spending time reading trashy magazines and lots of newspapers. Very interesting, and often nauseating reading all the magazines with strong views about celebrity relationships. I have gone cold turkey on those magazines now!

I was delighted when I met someone who when I told them I worked at Brook said they had used Brook's services in Belfast and had a fantastic experience. Always a pleasure to get feedback in unexpected places. Coincidentally this is the second time i have been on my holidays and meeting someone who has used Brook in Northern Ireland and had a great experience - last time I was on an aeroplane back from Australia and the young woman sat next to me saw me doing some work, asked me what I did and when I told her she was so full of praise for the staff.

Sticking with Northern Ireland, at the Edinburgh festival my favourite show was the Chronicles of Long Kesh, a play about the HM Maze Prison used to house paramilitary prisoners during the Northern Irish Troubles. The 6 actors played the whole range of characters with incredible skill. I have talked about the play a lot since seeing it - and people have very different reactions to it depending on their view. I was incredibly taken by the small windows into the often chilling impact of the 'Troubles' on interpersonal and intimate relationships between men, their wives and their children. The film 'hunger' about the same prison is very good too.

The sun didn't shine too much in Cornwall but I did stand up on a surf board (whilst in the sea) for at least 8 seconds.

Holiday reads;

Small Island by Andrea Levy

Starting Over by Tony Parsons

Incendiary by Chris Cleve

All of them fantastic in different ways.

Remembering the feelings

I went to to the beach closest to my childhood home in Cornwall last weekend.  I spent a fair amount of time wondering whether to say hello to people in my class, my year and my school, and having no choice but to say hello and enjoy conversation with others.

What really struck me was the level and intensity of feelings associated with my youth that seeing one person, talking about another, or being reminded of a situation with friends in that area.  For me being young was a good time - a time of freedom and choice, rights and responsibilities, romantic (or not) adventures, lots and lots of laughing and comedy, cool at the time, clothing in an effort to express myself.  I often talk of remembering what it feels like to be young and last week I had no choice, the feelings all came gushing back.  For me it was a good time.  As the recession hits us, all of us, parents, uncles, friends and workers have to do everything we can to ensure that being 15, 16 and 17 is a good time for as many young people as possible.  One young person wisely told me a few years ago - I don't want to be treated like a kid, but don't expect me to behave like an adult either.

Being young and all that can come with it - adventures, mistakes, first love, first relationships, education, new experiences - should be a privilege and a pleasure, and adults play an important part in making it so.